Somewhere Only We Know
by QueenOfSlexieness
Summary: A year after the plane crash, both Mark and Lexie find themselves with life changing test results.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello, my dear readers.  
** **I know, I know. I'm supposed to write chapter 13 of Bless the rains. And it's coming, trust me.  
** **I've had this new idea for a while and now I just couldn't help myself. I needed to start this one.  
** **Hope you like this prologue. I'm excited to write this story and I hope you will like it as much :)  
The title is from the song "Somewhere only we know" by Keane. I read the lyrics and in my opinion, it fits this story. Check the lyrics out and listen to the song :)  
** **Make sure to leave a review! Enjoy!**

* * *

Screams, tears and pain.

That's how Lexie Grey would sum up the past year. A flight trip to Boise, Idaho to perform a surgery with 5 of her colleagues turned into a nightmare when the plane suddenly crashed. Luckily, everyone got out of it alive. However, there had been a touch and go for both her and Mark. One good thing came out of that horrible accident, though; Her and Mark got back together.

The past year and a half hadn't been all bad, of course. After almost 8 months of recovery, Mark had proposed and they got married. And now, a week after they got back from their honeymoon, Lexie was standing in the bathroom, impatiently awaiting the results of a test she deep down already knew the answer of.

She took a deep breath and looked up at her reflection in the mirror. She looked different, yet the same. Her hair was now shorter. The decision to make a radical change came quickly after she was released from the hospital and felt like she needed a change, a new start. And she loved her new hair style. It was shoulder long and a bit chopped.

Her admiration of herself was interrupted when the timer alarm on her phone went off, indicating that 3 minutes had passed. As she turned the alarm off and put the phone away, she felt a rush of nervousness shoot through her body. _I guess that's to be expected._ She thought to herself. Lexie closed her eyes and gently grabbed the test. After taking a breath and counting to three, she opened her eyes and turned the test towards her. She quickly scanned over the result. And then again, just to be sure.

And sure enough, her suspicions and what she already knew were now confirmed.

 **Pregnant.**

A warm smile covered her face. She was pregnant. Her and Mark were gonna have a baby.

"Oh my God." She whispered as she put the test back down and looked up at her reflection in the mirror again. Suddenly, she looked different. Maybe she was just imagining it. Her hand subconsciously traveled to rest on her lower abdomen. A baby. A baby was growing in her uterus.

Lexie Grey was gonna have a baby with Mark Sloan and she couldn't be happier.

And she couldn't wait to tell him the good news.

—

The past year had been rough for Mark Sloan.

The plane crash had changed his life completely. Seeing Lexie laying crushed under that piece of plane really got him to realize what really is important in life. Luckily they managed to save her and they all got home alive. The recovery for both of them had been really long and he had spent about a month in a coma. Julia came to visit him in the hospital while he was awake and the first thing he did was to break up and apologize. He belonged with Lexie, they were meant to be. He still thought about how insane it was that he needed a plane crash to realize that Lexie Grey truly was the love of his life.

Things had been going great so far.

And then it started to happen. Every now and then since right before the wedding, he would get sharp pains in the abdomen. It would be over in a few minutes, but it hurt like hell. First, it would happen occasionally, not very often. But now it was more and more often. During the honeymoon, the pain became more frequent and it was hard to not show Lexie.

So as soon as they got home and were back to work, Mark confined in Dr. Bailey who, with a concerned look, decided to check him out just in case. She'd run tests and yesterday they did a CT-scan along with a biopsy. Bailey ordered pretty much every test in the book just to rule out everything. Their first suspicions had been complications from his injuries from the plane crash, but Mark had a feeling that it wasn't that.

Mark had snuck out of the apartment early this morning, before Lexie even woke up. He claimed last night that he had an early shift. In reality, he was seeing Bailey to talk about the test results. Lying to Lexie was something he hated, but he didn't want to worry her. She'd worried enough this past year, she didn't need anything else to worry about. Not until there was anything to worry about, that is.

Since he was there early, he decided to make some pre-op notes for his surgeries today. And he needed something to distract him while he waited for Bailey. _Don't worry about it until there is a reason to worry._ He tried to convince himself. _There might not even be a problem. Maybe you're just imagining. Phantom pains, kidney stones, gas. It could be something small and simple that antibiotics can cure._

"Dr. Sloan."

His thoughts were interrupted when he heard Bailey call his name. Looking up from the chart he was currently writing in, he searched her face for an expression that could give anything away. Of course, it didn't. Miranda Bailey's poker face was the best.

"I have your test results."


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello, everyone. Thank you for the kind reviews. I'm happy you liked the prologue. I'm excited to write this story and I'm so glad that you want to follow it :D  
** **Here's chapter 2. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do :) Happy reading!**

* * *

Lexie couldn't stop smiling as she walked down the hallway towards the residents' locker room. This day couldn't have started any better. The positive pregnancy test seemed to make her love Mark even more. As if that was even possible. All she wanted to do right now was to get up on the roof and scream as loud as she could. She wanted to tell the whole world that she was carrying Mark Sloan's baby. Sure, a baby didn't quite fit into her 5-year plan. She wasn't even an attending yet. But if the plane crash taught her one thing, it was that life is too short. This baby wasn't planned, but not unwanted just because of it. Lexie couldn't be happier right now.

She greeted a few of the other residents in the locker room as she walked in, the smile still on her face as she walked over to her locker. She quickly changed into her scrubs, making sure she kept her tank top on under her scrub shirt. No one was gonna look at her belly and make the conclusion that she was pregnant, but somehow it felt like it and she wanted to make sure no one found out before Mark. Just thinking about how Mark would react sent butterflies to her stomach. He never told her when his first surgery today would be over, but she really hoped it would be soon. Because she felt like she was gonna explode if she didn't get to tell him soon.

As she left the locker room and walked towards the nurses station, she started to think about how she was gonna tell him. Maybe make it a riddle, 'What do you get when you cross a Sloan with a Grey?'. Or maybe tell him about her symptoms and make him diagnose her. However, she knew it would be useless to decide how she was gonna tell him, because she knew she would end up speechless and then just spit it out, 'I'm pregnant!'. A light chuckle left her at the thought and she shook her head.

When she got to the nurses station, she noticed a few interns leaning against the counter, currently in a heated discussion. She just shook her head with a smile on her face and grabbed an iPad and checked Mark's schedule.

"They've been in there for a long time now. It can't just be a quick exam." One of the interns said with a chuckle. None of them seemed to have noticed Lexie yet.

"But are you sure it was just an exam? There has to be something more. And why weren't we allowed to help?"

After a moment, Lexie started to get annoyed. "Hey." She barked as she looked up at them, which caused them all to jump and turn around to look at her with wide eyes, as if they had just been caught doing something really bad. "Don't you have something important to do? Like save someone's life?"

"Oh, I'm sorry Dr. Grey." A short girl apologized.

"We… We are with Dr. Bailey today. She has a patient but we weren't allowed inside." The first intern explained. "They've been in there for a while now."

"Well…" Lexie started annoyed. "Maybe it's a VIP patient, or a family member." She suggested, not even knowing why she was still talking to these guys.

"I don't think so." The other intern said with a shrug and looked down at the iPad. "The patient's name is Naols. Not a name I recognize. I'm not even sure that is a name."

"Bailey and Dr. Sloan have been in there with the patient forever now." The girl said, trying to calculate everything once again.

"Dr. Sloan is in there?" Lexie asked, trying to figure out why he was doing a consult with Bailey. According to his schedule, he wasn't done with his surgery yet. A frown covered her face as she then thought of something. "Wait. What was the patient's name again?" She asked and walked over to the intern with the iPad.

"Naols." He said and showed her the iPad. "Why, do you know him, or her?"

Lexie didn't answer the question. She was too focused to look at the name. Naols. There was something about it. It didn't really sound like a name. It was like it was made up. One of her favorite thing as a child and teenager was to play with words. She loved the games where you change the order of the letters and then try to figure out which word it was.

And then she figured out what it was about the name 'Naols'.

 _Naols - Sloan._

"Which room are they in?" Lexie asked in a monotone voice, trying her best to keep it casual.

"1128." The intern replied, utterly confused and curious about what the older resident just discovered.

Lexie didn't even give him a 'thank you' before she just turned on her heel and firmly walked towards the room. The room she _knew_ only Dr. Bailey and her husband were occupying, no patient. Except for the fact that Mark was the patient. She was so angry. Like in those cartoon where the character's face turns red and fume comes out of it's ears. But an amount of fear lingered there as well.

Without even thinking about knocking on the door, she just opened it and burst into the room. And as expected, no patient. Just Bailey and Mark. Mark was sitting on the bed and Bailey was sitting on a chair opposite him, with an iPad in her hands. It looked like they had been talking about something really serious, based on their facial expressions. However, both their expressions changed when they looked up and noticed Lexie in the doorway. Mark looked like he had just been caught making out with the other doctor and Bailey just looked angry.

"Dr. Grey, didn't your parents teach you how to knock before you enter a room?" Bailey asked in an annoyed tone. After all, Grey had just burst into the room while she was talking to a patient.

Lexie didn't respond to Bailey's rhetorical question. Her eyes were glued on Mark.

"Lexie…" Mark started softly, trying hard to come up with a good explanation.

"What's going on in here?" Lexie asked furiously, not bothering to hide her emotions.

Bailey and Mark looked towards each other before Mark just looked down at his hands. He didn't know how to break this to her. And he knew Bailey wasn't gonna say anything.

Lexie looked between the older surgeons and shook her head as she smiled bitterly. "Okay. Don't tell me. I'll just look it up myself." She announced as she got her own iPad and started looking up the chart of Mr. Naols. Now more known as her own husband.

"Lexie, don't." Mark tried but it was useless

"Clever cover, by the way." She said ironically as she scrolled through the files. "As if I wouldn't find out." She continued and got more angry. "You know that 'Sloan' is my name now too, right?" She asked with a bitter laugh. "Naols, Sloan. I actually almost missed it. Thank God for nosey interns."

And after some scrolling, she got to the files. The files that contained information about symtoms, patient history, tests, test results and now; Diagnosis. She read the results again. And again. She just wanted to double check and hopefully find a mistake of some sort.

But there was no mistake. Bailey had done everything right. Lexie thought she was gonna pass out as she read the diagnosis Bailey had determined. _Gastrointestinal stromal tumor._

Swallowing hard, she looked up at Mark with a defeated look. Their gazes met immediately, both knowing what the other was thinking. Her voice was shaking as she spoke. "You… You have cancer?" She asked, even though she knew the answer. Tears welled up in her eyes as the realization finally hit her.

"Lexie…" Mark called her name softly and got to his feet. Taking a few steps towards her slowly, as if she were a scared animal he didn't want to scare away.

"Don't!" Lexie said, raising her voice and taking a small step back. "Don't come anywhere near me." She told him. In milliseconds, she realized what all this meant. That the baby resting in her uterus probably would grow up without a father. In that moment she realized that she was pregnant with Mark's child at the same time as he got cancer. She felt dizzy. It was becoming too much too fast and she felt like she couldn't breathe. "Just…" She started and held up her hand, stopping him from coming any closer. "Just don't follow me. I don't want to talk to you right now."

And with that, she just turned around and walked away. Leaving a devastated Mark Sloan behind. As she left her iPad by the nurses station, she heard him call her name. She didn't respond. She just kept walking, failing the attempt to keep her tears inside her eyelids.

For a moment, it felt like Mark had betrayed her. It felt wrong to feel like that. It wasn't his fault. But a part of her really wished that she had caught Mark and Bailey making out in that room. That would have been easier to handle.

Lexie was pregnant and Mark was sick. It was all so scary. She was really terrified.

—

For the rest of the day, Lexie worked hard to avoid Mark. It didn't feel good and she hated herself for it, but she couldn't help it. She needed time to process this and figure out a way to handle it. But right now, she needed to be alone for a while.

Lexie was writing in a chart when she suddenly felt someone grab her arm really tight and pull her away. She was pulled into an exam room and the door slammed shut. "Hey! What the-"

"Uh, uh. You better be quiet and listen to me." Miranda Bailey barked at the resident. She had her classic Bailey look with the eyes that threatened to eat interns for breakfast.

Lexie softened when she looked at the older attending. If there was one surgeon Lexie never fought against or questioned, ever, it was Dr. Miranda Bailey. Wrapping her arms around herself, she took a breath and nodded a little, indicating for Bailey to continue.

"First of all, I really don't like when people just burst into my exam rooms while I'm consulting a patient. You knock first, and when I say 'come in', you can come in. Are we clear?"

"Yes, ma'am." Lexie replied softly, feeling like a little girl again who was caught eating cookies out of the jar when she wasn't allowed to.

"Good." Bailey said sternly. She took a moment to eye the resident before she softened a bit. "Look, what Dr. Sloan has is a pretty easy fix. It seems worse than it really is. And… Well, he needs you right now."

Lexie nodded again and looked down at the floor, wrapping her arms a little tighter around herself. _Well, I need him as well._ She thought to herself and had to bite her tongue in order to keep herself quiet. "Yeah, I know."

"What's going on?" Bailey asked. She had always been quick at noticing when something was wrong. After all, she is Miranda Bailey.

"Can… Can I tell you something? In confidence?" Lexie asked and kept her eyes to the floor, trying her best to keep her tears in.

"Of course."

Lexie took a deep breath and gathered herself before lifting her gaze to meet the attending's. "I'm pregnant." She confessed softly, feeling emotional pain as she uttered the words. It made everything so much more real.

Bailey sighed. If it was of annoyance or sympathy, Lexie didn't know. "Have you told him?" She asked softly.

"No." Lexie said and shook her head. "I was planning to tell him but… Something kind of came up."

Bailey nodded in understanding. "Well… You should tell him. He's the father and he deserves to know. He has a _right_ to know."

"I know." Lexie whispered and wiped her eyes. She hadn't even noticed that a few tears had escaped.

A moment passed before Bailey's pager started beeping. With a heavy sigh, she checked it and looked up at Lexie with a calm look on her face. "I have to go. But everything will be alright. We are gonna operate on him and get that nasty thing out, okay?"

Lexie met the attending's eyes and nodded. She felt safe with Bailey.

"But you gotta tell him about the baby. And I mean it. He deserves to know."

Lexie nodded once more. "Yeah. I'll tell him." She replied. They held each other's gaze for a moment before Bailey left the exam room, leaving Lexie alone with her thoughts. So many thoughts were running through her head right now. She needed a break.

After a moment of thinking and considering different options, she decided that the best thing probably would be to spend the night with Derek and Meredith, and talk to Mark in the morning. She obviously had been pregnant for several weeks, another day of Mark not knowing wouldn't hurt.

—

Towards the end of the day, Mark was done with all his surgeries and consults. Thanks to that, he could keep his mind off of Lexie and his condition. Receiving the news from Bailey wasn't exactly easy. And seeing Lexie's devastated face when she found out wasn't helping. All he'd wanted to do all day was to just talk to his wife and explain the situation. But she had asked him to leave her alone, so that's what he did. Just because they didn't talk for one day didn't mean they would get divorced. And this wasn't their first fight.

"Hey." Derek greeted his best friend, joining him by the nurses station and left a chart.

"Hey." Mark replied, keeping his eyes on the chart in front of him.

"Long day?" Derek asked, noticing the look on his friend's face.

"You could say that." Mark said dryly, hoping that Derek would take the hint and leave.

"I hate those days." Derek said, not planning on ending this conversation anytime soon.

"Do you need anything, Derek or are you just bothering me for fun?" The annoyance in his voice was clear, but he didn't care.

"Nope. Just trying to make conversation with my friend." Derek acknowledged the annoyance. And he was determined to find out what was going on.

Derek was met by silence. Mark figured that if he stopped responding, the conversation couldn't go on. And hopefully that would make Derek leave.

Sadly for Mark, Derek wasn't giving up that easily.

"Hey, let me ask you a question." Derek said and leaned in closer to his brother. He didn't get a reply, but that was expected. "Is everything alright with you and Lexie?" He asked with a concerned tone in his voice, knowing the subject would probably be sensitive.

Without thinking, Mark actually responded. "Everything is fine." He lied and kept avoiding eye contact. He had finished his chart minutes ago. Right now he was just fake writing to look busy.

Derek nodded slowly, not really believing the answer he received. And frankly he didn't believe it. Since he knew the truth. "Really? Everything is fine?" He questioned. "Then why is Lexie staying with us tonight?"

The last question made Mark finally look up at his best friend with a confused look on his face. "Lexie is staying with you tonight?" He asked, not understanding at all. "Why?"

"I don't know." Derek said with a shrug. "But maybe you can get the answer now." He said and nodded over Mark's shoulder towards the main entrance.

Mark frowned and noticed that Derek was looking over his shoulder. He turned around to see what Derek was talking about. He then saw Lexie walking towards the doors, dressed in her street clothes and ready to leave.

Without saying anything to Derek, Mark left his chart on the counter and ran after his wife. He knew he was breaking his promise, but now he wanted answers. Something was terribly wrong if Lexie wanted to spend the night somewhere else. As he got closer to the doors, he called the name of his wife to get her attention. "Lexie, wait!"

Lexie didn't need to think for two seconds to know who was following her. She took one look at her husband and gave him an irritated look before she turned around and walked through the doors. She did not want to talk right now. "Go away, Mark."

"No." Mark said firmly and kept following her. He was close enough to slow down and just walk after her. "Why is Derek telling me that you won't come home tonight?" He asked, demanding an answer.

"Because I'm not. I'm staying with him and Meredith tonight." She replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the whole world and everyone should understand that.

"Why?" Mark asked, slowly starting to lose his patience. Especially since she refused to stop walking.

"Because I need time, Mark. Now, leave me alone." She explained and raised her voice. All she wanted was to be left alone.

This started to feel just like the time he tried to talk to her after the shooting. The time she also asked him to leave her alone. "Lexie, come on." He pleaded, getting anxious and worried. "I get that you're pissed at me. But will you just let me explain?"

"Explain!?" Lexie asked angrily and stopped walking so quick Mark almost walked right into her. She turned around to look at her husband with angry eyes. "You think now would be a good time to explain!?" She was so angry at him. And maybe she was overreacting, but to her defense, her hormones and feelings were everywhere. "You don't tell me anything for weeks and let me find out the truth through _interns_. I thought that after everything we've been through, and I mean _everything_ , you would be honest with me and tell me if something was wrong. For better and for worse, Mark. In sickness and in health. Remember that part?" Angry tears were welling up in her eyes and she didn't bother to try stopping them. "Do you remember that because I swear that I saw you at the wedding. Yeah, my memory might be a little blurry, but I remember you standing right in front of me, holding my hands and saying 'I do'." Her feelings were so messed up right now. She wanted to punch him hard in the face and at the same time, she wanted to kiss him and be in his arms.

"Lexie, please-"

"You know what the worst part is? That you've kept this a secret for _weeks._ Not hours or days, _weeks._ Were you ever going to tell me? Or were you just gonna get treatment without telling me at all? I just don't…" She closed her eyes for a moment and rested her hand on her forehead. "You lied to me." She said, her voice more soft than earlier.

"Lexie, I never lied to you-"

"Yes, you did, Mark!" Lexie was yelling now. Removing her hand from her forehead and opening her eyes to look at her husband, her eyes were now angrier than ever. "You did! You lied to me! Every day, every morning, every _time_ I asked you how you were, and you said 'Oh, I'm fine, Lex.', you lied to me! You should have told me the truth! You should have told me about your pain and your other symptoms. But you didn't. So you lied to me!" Her BP was probably sky-high right now, which was not good for the baby. _The baby._

She closed her eyes again, mentally distancing herself from Mark for a moment so she could gather herself and calm down. Technically she was doing the same thing right now as he'd done. She was keeping information from him. But she hadn't lied to him about it. She had told him about feeling nauseous, even though she hadn't realized it was because of the pregnancy.

It wasn't fair. She couldn't keep this from him any longer. Bailey was right, he deserved to know.

She opened her eyes slowly, meeting Mark's soft, worried ones instantly. He had been quiet since her outburst, which she was incredible thankful for. She didn't want to fight anymore. "There's also something that I need to tell you." She said, her voice as soft as ever.

When she didn't receive a verbal response from him, she swallowed hard before opening her mouth again. "I'm pregnant." She watched Mark's eyes widen a bit and she continued to talk before he could interrupt. "I'm carrying your baby, Mark. _Our_ baby. We are gonna have a baby. And now you…" Shaking her head in disbelief, she wiped her cheeks. "I guess we both have something growing in our stomachs." She couldn't help but laugh a little at the irony of it all.

Silence fell between them. The only sound was the late night traffic and sirens from ambulances arriving at the ER. Neither of them said anything. In that moment, Mark finally realized why she needed some time alone. And he accepted that. Maybe they both needed some time. One night apart wouldn't hurt.

When Lexie realized that Mark wasn't gonna say anything, she decided to break the silence instead. "I think we both need a night apart. So we'll talk tomorrow. Okay?"

Mark only managed to nod in response. So many thoughts, feelings and memories were running through his head right now. His head was a mess.

Lexie offered him the smallest of smiles before she turned around and walked away. The tears started running down her cheeks again. This wasn't the first time she had left him like this in the very same spot. And it felt just as horrible as the first time it happened.

But everything would be okay. They would talk tomorrow.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey, guys. Thank you all so much for the kind reviews. I love it when I get the notifications on my phone! You are the best!  
** **I know some of you were slightly upset with Lexie for not talking to Mark and being irrational. And I totally agree with you. But I can see her side of things as well. But don't worry, they will talk and solve this.  
** **I just want to apologize as well. Cancer and sickness in general is a sensitive subject that I think most of us have dealt with one way or another. My mother died of cancer when I was little for example. So I hope this story doesn't trigger anything. If it does, I deeply apologize. But I can promise you that Mark will be okay. Slexie doesn't die in my world.  
** **The medical stuff in this chapter isn't completely correct, but keep in mind that this is a fiction. Hope you will enjoy this chapter, and make sure to leave a review :D**

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"Okay, this will be a little cold."

Lexie was well aware. She'd been on the OB/GYN rotation so many times now. And with the photographic memory, she only had to see it once to remember it for the rest of her life. She knew how this worked.

However, as the OB doctor squeezed the gel onto her stomach, she winced a little at the cold. The nervousness didn't exactly help either. After she got home to Meredith last night, she told her and Derek about the pregnancy and Meredith pulled some strings to get her an appointment already the next morning.

Lexie closed her eyes, and memories of the last time she was on this very table flashed before her eyes.

.

 _"Okay, this will be a little cold." The OB doctor said softly, she could tell that her patient was really nervous. And she understood that. This wasn't the first woman to exam her uterus to make sure she would be able to conceive a child._

 _Lexie winced at the cold and squeezed her eyes shut. She kept squeezing an imaginary ball in her hand in order to not shake. These news would affect her entire future._

 _A few weeks ago, the idea crossed her mind. The horrible idea that maybe she wouldn't be able to get pregnant in the future. The piece of plane literally crushed her pelvis and legs. It had taken Callie and Bailey several surgeries to get it all back together. And now she was worried that her uterus might have been affected. To the point of not being able to conceive a child._

Please let it be okay. _She thought to herself, patiently awaiting any sound from the doctor. It couldn't have been more than 45 seconds since she squeezed the gel onto her stomach and checked the monitor, but it sure felt like 45 minutes._

 _She hadn't told Mark about her worries. She was well aware of Mark's desire to have children with her. Hell, he even promised her a daughter and two sons while she was crushed under the plane. She didn't want to crush Mark's dream and she didn't want him to worry. So instead, she decided to get an exam and take it from there._

 _Her thoughts were interrupted when the doctor cleared her throat. Opening her eyes, she realized the doctor must have been watching her for a while now. Lexie had been expecting a look of empathy and sadness, but it was the complete opposite._

 _"Everything looks fine, Lexie." The female doctor told her softly, a warm smile on her face to seal the deal. "Your uterus is intact and I don't see any reason you wouldn't be able to get pregnant."_

 _The heaviest sigh escaped Lexie's lips. The weight on her shoulders was finally off and it felt like she could breathe normally now. She nodded a little. "Thank you. So much." She said softly and offered the doctor a smile in return. Although, the smile was more for herself._

 _She_ would _be able to get pregnant._

 _._

Lexie opened her eyes and turned her head to her left. She immediately met her older sister's gaze, her eyes as supportive and comforting as ever. A small smile found it's way onto her face as she squeezed Lexie's hand.

"Do you think Mark will be angry that he didn't get to be here for the first ultrasound?" Lexie asked nervously, feeling the lump in her throat grow bigger. The fight with Mark last night still hurt inside her and she didn't want him to be more mad at her than he already probably was.

With the smile still on her face, Meredith gently shook her head. "No. I'm 100% positive that he will accept it. He understands. And he can be here for the next one."

"He will understand my reasons, right? That I just want something concrete to show him." Lexie said pleadingly, just wanting to be assured that he wouldn't be mad. The ultrasound photo was gonna be her way of apologizing to him.

Meredith was about to answer her when a new sound filled the room and interrupted the sisters' conversation. All eyes fell on the monitor, which now clearly showed a peanut shaped figure along with the sound of the baby's heartbeat.

"Everything looks good, Lexie." Dr. Carter said with a warm smile. "The fetus looks healthy and it has a strong heartbeat."

Lexie sighed in relief and reflexively squeezed her sister's hand. She did feel a little guilty about Mark not being here right now, but she pushed the feeling away. He would understand, and like Meredith said; He could be there for the next one.

Dr. Carter let the women admire the image on the monitor for a while longer before she removed the transducer from her stomach. She then pushed the machine back and printed the picture. She also made some notes in Lexie's chart on her iPad before turning back to her patient. "Everything is fine. Just remember to take your prenatal vitamins and take it easy. And just give me a call if you feel any pain or bleeding." She said and gave her the photo along with a warm smile. "I'll see you next time."

Lexie took the photo and looked at it for a moment. It was her baby. Her and Mark's baby. A life created by the two of them was resting in her uterus. She had imagined this feeling so many times, but she never knew it would feel this good. Now she just hoped that Mark would forgive her and be there for her and the child.

"You ready to go?" Lexie's thoughts were interrupted by her sister's soft voice. Lexie looked up at Meredith and nodded before pulling her shirt down and getting up from the table.

They left the room in silence and made their way down the hallway towards the elevators. The photo was resting safely in Lexie's lab coat pocket, but she gently protected it with her hand anyway. Just in case.

"Thank you for letting me stay with you last night. I really appreciate it." Lexie said softly. All night she had felt like an intruder. But she really needed some space from Mark.

"You're always welcome, you know that. And thank _you_ for letting me in on your little secret." She replied and gently touched her sister's arm. Silence fell between them for a short moment. "You're gonna talk to Mark today, right?"

Lexie nodded immediately, not waisting any time at all to even think about it. "Yes. As soon as I find him." She informed as they reached the elevator and stepped inside. Lexie leaned against the wall as Meredith pressed the button for the surgical floor. Thankfully, they were alone.

As the elevator started moving, Meredith looked over at Lexie and sighed. "Relax, Lex. He's not gonna be mad at you. He's just gonna be very happy that the baby is okay and just the fact that there _is_ a baby."

Lexie didn't know what to believe. In her mind, Mark had already ordered the divorce papers. She figured he had every right to be mad at her. But a small part of her agreed with Meredith and knew that everything would be fine. He wasn't mad at her.

Before she could respond, the bell dinged, indicating that they had reached their destination. The doors opened and the sound of the busy hallways filled her ears. Back to reality.

In an instant, Lexie's feet were guiding her out of the elevator. She briefly turned back to her sister and offered her a smile. "Thank you for coming with me. I'll see you later." She said and then walked down the hallway, determined to find her husband and solve this.

It didn't take her long to find him. By the nurses station, he was currently working on his iPad. Probably making notes in a chart. He looked busy, which made Lexie doubt a bit if this would be the right time to talk to him. But a bigger part of her won the battle before it even began.

She took a breath before she made her way over to him, thankful that no one else was around to overhear. "Hey." She greeted, softly but yet determined.

The sound of her voice had always been enough for him to look up and search for her, even if she wasn't talking to him. No different this time. He looked up and gave her a small smile. He was glad to see her. "Hey." He replied softly.

"You want to talk now?" She asked with a little uncertainty in her voice, as if he was gonna turn his back on her and walk away any second.

"Yeah." He said and nodded. "Come with me, I wanna show you something." He gently grabbed her hand, not waiting for her confirmation before he dragged her with him. Lexie didn't question him or asked where they were going, she just followed him, feeling relieved that he didn't seem angry. _Not yet, anyway_. She thought to herself.

They walked down the hallway and then Mark opened the door to a room and let her in first. As she walked inside, she recognized it immediately. It was the room they used to get bigger pictures and 3D prints of tumors and organs, and whatever else. All you had to do was connect your iPad to the device and it would show the scans and document like an overhead projector.

Mark closed the door and quickly set up his iPad. After doing some scrolling and touch-clicking, he was soon ready to show her everything she needed to know. He shot a quick glance towards her before the screen appeared in front of them, showing Mark's medical file.

Lexie took a step closer to him, making sure that their arms touched a little.

Mark took a breath and then started explaining to her.

"Mark Sloan, diagnosed with a gastrointestinal stromal tumor. The tumor is small and operable, Bailey caught it early. According to her, the surgery will be a piece of cake. After the surgery, radiation treatment will be set up along with a really small amount of chemo, just to be on the safe side." He explained and eventually looked down at her, awaiting her reaction to the information.

Lexie took everything in, inhaled and nodded. "Who's gonna operate? Bailey?" She asked and looked up at him.

"Bailey, Webber, your sister." He corrected. "They're gonna come up with a plan."

She nodded slowly, accepting everything and still taking in all the information. "So you'll be okay?"

"I'll be okay." He confirmed. "It will be an easy fix, Bailey will make sure of it."

Lexie nodded again and closed her eyes, this actually made her feel a lot better. Then she remembered that she had something to show as well. Looking up at him, she offered him a small smile and reached her hand out, silently asking for the iPad. When he, with a smile, gave it to her, she immediately set up her own file. After a moment, her medical information showed on the screen in front of them.

"Lexie Grey-Sloan, 7 weeks pregnant. Fetus looks healthy, no bleeding or pain. Mother's blood pressure was a little high, but due to some stress, that is accorded to be normal. Some relaxing and calming down should do it. Prenatal vitamins were given along with the date for the next appointment." She explained in one breath and remembered the ultrasound resting in her pocket. With a small smile, she reached for it and took it out. She looked down at it for a short moment before handing it to Mark.

Mark looked down at the photograph in her hands before taking it into his own. He studied it for a long moment, letting the realization settle. It was his baby. His baby with Lexie.

"What do you think?" She asked softly, searching his face for a response.

Mark took the iPad out of her hands and then moved slightly to stand behind her. He gently wrapped his arms around her waist, letting his hands rest lightly on her belly. "I think it's wonderful."

She responded by resting her hand on top of his. A soft sigh escaped her as she leaned against him and closed her eyes. "Are you mad at me?"

"Mad? About what?" He asked, not knowing what she was talking about.

"Well…" She replied and shrugged a little. "About everything. Me keeping this secret from you, me yelling at you outside of the hospital, me sleeping somewhere else last night." She suggested and took a breath. "But mostly, for not including you in the first ultrasound."

Mark chuckled softly against her neck and then planted a soft kiss against her skin. "Why would I be mad about any of that? You didn't keep it a secret, you told me about the pregnancy, the yelling was well deserved and I agreed that we needed some time to ourselves." He explained as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "As for the ultrasound, It's fine. I'll be there for the next one."

A sigh of relief escaped through her lips. She had been so scared that he would hate her after this. "I'm sorry." She whispered softly, still feeling the need to apologize.

"Hey, look at me." Mark said and turned her so she was facing him. He gently cupped her face in his hands and made her look up at him. "I love you. We are gonna have a baby. And, unfortunately, I have some treatment to get through. But we will get through this, I know it. Everything will be fine. We just have to take one step at a time. We'll be fine, Lex."

Lexie looked into his ocean blue eyes and felt her self falling in love with him all over again. She didn't know if it was his little speech or her hormones choosing a bad time to show themselves, but the tears welled up in her eyes anyway. "I just love you so much." She whispered softly, not trusting her voice to hold.

Mark just smiled at her lovingly for a moment before he leaned down to capture her lips with his own. Her hands moved up to rest on his arms as she kissed him back. They both stayed like that, just savoring the feeling of being close to each other. Both of them were thinking the same thing, that they have wasted so much time before to dance around each other and date other people, when all they ever wanted was each other. After the plane crashed, they both realized that life was too short. And they had made silent promises to never waste another moment.

When air became needed, Mark broke the kiss and pulled back slightly, resting his forehead against hers. After a moment, they pulled back more and looked at each other. A bubble was formed. Suddenly, Mark and Lexie were the only people existing. And it felt wonderful.

Then the bubble burst when Mark's pager interrupted their peace. Both let out a sigh of annoyance as Mark checked it. "Hunt is paging me to the ER." He said annoyed and put his phone back in his pocket before looking back at Lexie. "Will I see you at home tonight?"

Lexie nodded before he even finished the question, taking a step closer to kiss him again. "Yes." She confirmed and pulled back, keeping her hands on his arms. "I'll be home tonight. I promise."

Mark offered her a warm smile and then nodded. "Great. I can't wait. See you tonight." He said and kissed her softly again before grabbing his iPad and walking towards the door.

"Be careful!" Lexie called after him, seriously. Her motherly instincts showed themselves already. But after all; Her husband was sick and she just wanted him to be okay.

A chuckle left him as he turned around in the hallway. "That's my line. You can't use my line." He joked, winking at her before he really left the room.

Lexie just smiled at his joke and shook her head. Her hands moved down to rest on her belly, protecting her baby.

Everything would be fine.

—

When Lexie got home that night, she was met by a child's laughter. The laughter she would recognize anywhere, Sofia's laughter. That girl sure could laugh, especially when Mark was around. The sound brought a smile to Lexie's lips as she took of her jacket and purse and hung it by the door.

" _You surrender now? Are you finally ready to surrender?"_ Mark's voice sounded from Sofia's room in the back of the apartment. By the sound of Sofia's laughter, Lexie could tell that Mark was currently tickling her. She could briefly hear some muffled 'No's coming out of Sofia's mouth. It didn't take much to tickle that girl.

With the smile still on Lexie's face, she shook her head and then made her way towards Sofia's room. During the short distance, she started imagining Mark doing this very same thing to their child. She had imagined that so many times before, but now when she was actually pregnant, it felt more real than ever. Her hand once again found it's way onto her stomach as she reached the room.

Just as she'd expected, Sofia was laying on the floor on her back, Mark hovering over her and using his hands to tickle her. The child used all the energy she had to attempt to remove her father's hands. But the laughing took all her energy, which gave Mark a big advantage.

"Are you going to surrender now, Sof?" Mark asked with a chuckle, clearly not noticing his wife in the doorway. His focus was on his daughter.

"No, Daddy!" Sofia exclaimed through her laughing, still fighting to keep Mark's hands off of her. "No sujjende!"

"Are you sure?" Mark asked as he managed to get his fingers under her armpit, making the child squeal in laughter. "I can do this all night." He teased in a sing song voice.

Sofia laughed some more, turning her head back and forth, hoping that it would push her father away. "Stop, Daddy!" She exclaimed, apparently ready to finally surrender.

Her words were enough for Mark to stop tickling her and slowly remove his hands. Sofia was exhausted from all the laughing, and he was exhausted from tickling her. When Sofia had calmed down a bit, they locked eyes with each other. A sight Lexie really loved. The girl offered her father a warm smile, silently telling him that she loved him. None of them were aware that Lexie was watching them

"Is Daddy playing dirty again?" Lexie asked jokingly, breaking the silence and making her presence known.

Both father and daughter looked up to the source of the voice. Sofia smiled widely at her step mother and quickly got to her feet. "Lessie!" She exclaimed as she ran towards the older woman, reaching her little arms out.

Lexie smiled at the girl and kneeled down just in time to catch her when she came running. She wrapped her arms around Sofia and lifted her up. "Hey, Sofia. I'm so happy to see you. It's been a while." She said and hugged her step daughter tightly. Looking over Sofia's shoulder, she watched Mark getting to his feet as he smiled at them.

"I miss you, Lessie." Sofia said softly against Lexie's neck.

"I missed you too, Sweetie." Lexie replied softly and planted a kiss to Sofia's neck. Even though Sofia wasn't her biological daughter, she loved her as if she was.

Mark made his way over to his favorite girls, the smile still wide on his face. "Hey." He said softly and gently touched Lexie's arm. He was so happy to see her, to see both of them together.

"Hey." Lexie replied softly. After a moment, Sofia started to unwrap herself from Lexie's arms, indicating that she wanted down. Once she was down on her feet, she grabbed Lexie's hand and dragged her towards the center of the room. "Come play, Lessie." She ordered.

"Okay, okay." Lexie laughed and followed her. All of them then sat down on the floor, letting Sofia show Lexie all her new toys.

"Look, Lessie." She said proudly and showed her step mother her toys. Lexie smiled and nodded and just sounded impressed.

Mark sat down beside Lexie and gently took her hand in his. "For the record, Sofia is not the only one who missed you." He said softly with a warm smile on his face, making sure to not sound too serious.

"Aww, I missed _you_ too." Lexie said warmly and smiled at him. She kissed him quickly on the cheek before turning her attention back to Sofia. "Did you tell Callie?" She asked quietly, as if Sofia would figure out what she meant.

Mark nodded in response and cleared his throat. "Yeah. I told Callie. We talked for a while and then she ordered me to spend as much time with Sofia as I could." He said softly, smiling a little at his daughter.

"That's nice." Lexie replied softly, shooting a glance towards him again. They locked eyes for a moment before they both once again turned back to the small child in the room.

Mark let his daughter show off her toys for another moment before he let go of Lexie's hand and positioned himself onto all fours, keeping his eyes on his daughter as if she was candy he soon would eat up. The tickling game would soon be back on.

Lexie watched Mark and laughed a little before making a fake gasp. "Oh oh. You better start running, Sofia. Because Daddy seems ready to tickle you again." She told the small child who looked up in horror before meeting her father's eyes. A wide smile covered her face as she knew what was happening. Soon she started laughing and hurried to get rid of her toys so she could get up and run for her life.

But Mark was too fast.

Lexie laughed loudly as Mark managed to grab the child and gently push her down to the floor. Soon, his hand were everywhere, and Sofia fought like an animal to make him stop. Her laughing and squealing didn't help her much.

"Lessie, help!" Sofia squealed when she managed to get a breath.

Lexie didn't have to be asked twice. She got up to her knees and pulled her sleeves up a bit before she started tickling Mark. He hated to admit it, but he was really ticklish. And Lexie knew about all his sensitive spots.

Mark started laughing immediately, letting go of Sofia in order to try to get Lexie off of him.

"Come help me, Sofia." Lexie exclaimed as Mark reached behind him and managed to tickle Lexie as well.

"No!" Mark shouted through his laughing. "That's cheating!" However, the girls didn't care. In no time, Sofia was on her feet helping Lexie torturing her father. She loved this.

Through the laughing and tickling, Lexie smiled to herself. For the first time in a very long time, she truly felt like everything would truly be okay.

As long as she had Mark.


	4. Chapter 4

**Wow, look who's finally around to update this story. Thank you for all the favs and follows! :D  
** **I've been working on this chapter for a while, I didn't really know how I wanted to continue this story, but now I know exactly and I'm excited to write it!  
** **I hope you enjoy this chapter and don't forget to leave a review! :D**

* * *

When Lexie woke up the next morning, the sun was shining through the windows of her and Mark's bedroom. A deep yawn left her mouth as she gently stretched her arm a little bit. In the same time she moved, she felt Mark's arm pull her closer to his body. Waking up like this was the absolute best way of waking up; to a shining sun in Mark's arms.

"Good morning." Mark said softly and started kissing her neck softly. His hand moved down to her lower abdomen. A motion they both had been waiting for.

"Good morning." Lexie replied and let her hand cover his that was resting on her stomach.

Mark kept kissing Lexie's neck softly. Eventually, Lexie rolled over to her back so she was close enough to kiss him on the mouth. The motion was welcomed by her husband who deepened the kiss immediately. His hand on her belly moved up and down her side. A soft moan escaped him. It had been a while since they had been intimate with each other.

"Mark." Lexie said and broke the kiss. Her hand moved up to cup his cheek as she looked into his ocean blue eyes. "Mark, we can't. There's a child sleeping in the next room and we both know she will wake up and come in here any second."

Mark sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. The last thing he wanted was to scar Sofia for life. He nodded a little and offered her a small smile. "You're right. I wouldn't be able to explain what we were doing if she would walk in here right now." A light chuckle left him at the thought.

Lexie giggled lightly and stroked his cheek with her thumb.

"I love you, Lex." He said and looked down to her belly. He let his hand rest on it and sighed lovingly. "And I love you, too." He told the stomach. "I love you both so much."

"We love you too." Lexie replied lovingly and smiled at him.

Mark nodded and gently moved his hand up to cup her face. Mirroring her smile, he leaned down to kiss her again, causing her to giggle into the kiss.

A moment later, small, quick steps sounded outside their bedroom. In mere seconds, someone was knocking lightly on the door. "Daddy?" A little voice called from the other side of the door.

Mark and Lexie broke the kiss and both turned their heads towards the door. The voice brought a wide smile to Mark's face. This was exactly what he needed right now. With a chuckle, he moved away from Lexie. "Yeah, Sofia. Come in!" He called. He was still amazed by the fact that she already had learned how to knock and await a response before going in.

The door opened and soon Sofia was walking into their bedroom. She had her favorite tiger in her hand and rubbed her eye with the other. You could tell she had just woken up and was still groggy from the sleep. She stopped right by the bed and removed her hand to look up at her father and stepmom. Her eyes filled with tears and her lip started trembling.

"Aww… What's wrong, Sof?" Mark asked and pulled the covers away a bit to make room for her. "Come here." He said and patted the space between him and Lexie, indicating that she could just climb up on the bed.

A small sob escaped Sofia, but she obeyed nevertheless. After all, she wanted just that, climb into bed with her daddy. She slowly made her way over to the edge of the bed and managed to climb up with the tiger still in her other hand. Once she was up, she crawled to the empty space between her father and step mother and then laid down. The crying ceased as she snuggled up against her daddy.

Mark laid down on his side, facing his daughter. He planted a soft kiss to her forehead as he started stroking her hair, just like Lexie would like it. "Shhh… It's okay, Sof. Daddy's here." He said soothingly and smiled at the child.

Lexie smiled lovingly at the pair. She loved this sight. "Yeah." She said softly and moved a little closer, moving her hand up to stroke Sofia's back. "It's okay, Sofia."

As soon as Sofia felt the hand on her back, she turned around to face Lexie. And she wasn't happy. "No, Lessie!" She said in a raised voice and pushed Lexie's hand away. She didn't want Lexie's comfort right now. "No!" She repeated and made an attempt to push Lexie as far away from her as possible.

"Sofia." Mark said warningly and gave her a harsh expression. "Lexie is allowed to be in the bed too." He hated to be firm with his daughter like this, but she needed to learn.

"Nooo!" Sofia argued and started crying again. In her world, Lexie wasn't allowed in the bed right now. This was father-daughter time and it hurt her that Mark didn't seem to understand that.

"Sofia-"

"Mark, it's fine." Lexie said softly, completely understanding what Sofia was feeling. With an apologetic smile on her face, she moved to get out of the bed.

"Lexie…"

"It's fine. No offense taken. She just woke up, she's upset and tired and she just wants to be with her daddy alone for a moment. I understand that." Lexie reasoned and got to her feet. She watched Sofia snuggle up closer to Mark and avoiding eye contact with Lexie. The child obviously loved her father very much and wanted some alone time with him. "I'll just make some breakfast instead." She said and smiled at Mark.

Mark hated this. It felt like Sloan and Lexie all over again. The last thing he wanted was to have to choose between his wife and his daughter. That was what broke them up not once, but twice before. Sometimes it felt like he didn't show enough love to both of them. With a heavy sigh, he looked down at his daughter and then back up at Lexie. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure." Lexie reassured and smiled at her husband. She shot a quick glance towards the child before meeting Mark's eyes again. "Pancakes?"

Mark was about to answer Lexie's question but remembered that Sofia was old enough to make her own decisions. Looking down at the child, he moved a strand of hair behind her ear to get a better look at her face. "Do you want pancakes for breakfast, Sofie?" When he just received a nod and then a tight hug, he sighed and nodded towards Lexie.

"Okay." Lexie said with a smile and then made her way out to the kitchen. Deep inside, she was a bit offended by Sofia's behavior. But she couldn't show it to Mark. Sofia was 3, it was a difficult and emotional age. With a deep breath, Lexie tried to push the feelings away and prepared everything she needed to make pancakes.

Mark sighed heavily when Lexie left the room. He really hated this. Sure, Sofia and Lexie had been getting along perfectly from the very beginning, but sometimes it felt like he always chose Sofia. He loved them both equally, of course, and he just wanted to make sure that they both knew that. With another heavy sigh, he looked down at the small child that was still curled up against him and buried her face in his chest. Like so many times before, he moved some hair out of her face and gently stroked her hair, and occasionally her face, with his finger. Sofia had her eyes closed and seemed to enjoy the moment. "You okay, Sofia? Are you feeling well?"

The child slowly opened her dark brown eyes to meet her father's ocean blue ones. At the age of 3, she started to talk more and more but she always understood more than she could speak. That question was familiar and she knew what it meant. She made a small nod and hugged her tiger more tightly.

Mark nodded and then leaned down to kiss Sofia's head. They stayed like that for a moment and just enjoyed each other's company. When Mark started to feel the smell of pancakes from the kitchen, he started poking his daughter gently in the stomach, causing her to grin. "You smell that?" He asked with a smile.

"Pancakes." Sofia replied proudly.

"Yep, pancakes. And from what I can feel, your stomach is empty." He said and poked her stomach some more, causing Sofia to giggle a little. "You wanna go out to the kitchen and see if Lexie is done with the pancakes?"

Sofia nodded and moved away a little from her father to yawn and stretch her arms. When she was fully awake, she sat up and started poking Mark lightly in his chest. "Get up, Daddy!" She said with a bright smile on her face.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm up." Mark said and chuckled before getting to his feet. He turned towards the bed and noticed Sofia reaching her arms out, indicating that she wanted to be carried. "Okay, here we go." He said and picked her up in his arms, making sure that the tiger was with them before he made his way out to the kitchen.

When they got out of the bedroom, the were greeted by the wonderful smell of pancakes. They both watched Lexie working in the kitchen in silence. She hadn't noticed them yet. Mark looked down at Sofia in his arms who had a big smile on her face. He mirrored her smile before taking a few steps forward, ready to make their presence known to his wife. "Smells good."

Lexie almost jumped when she suddenly heard her husband behind her. Turning around, she smiled when she noticed her husband and his daughter. "Hey, you. Time to get up now." She said with a light giggle before she turned back to what she was doing. "It will be a few minutes before the pancakes are done so you can do something fun while you're waiting." She announced, believing that Sofia was still mad at her.

Sofia started wiggling in Mark's arms, indicating that she wanted down. Once he put her down, she was off towards the living room to play with the toys she had there. Mark kept his eyes on her, making sure she got settled okay, before he made his way over to Lexie. "Need any help?" He asked as he wrapped his arms around her midsection from behind, letting his hands rest on her stomach.

"Nope, I got it. Thanks anyway." Lexie replied sincerely, leaning a little against Mark's chest as she flipped a pancake.

"She doesn't hate you, you know." Mark told his wife and rested his chin on her shoulder. "She was just tired and a bit grumpy. It's nothing personal."

"I know." Lexie said honestly, she was well aware how Sofia, or kids in general, could be. She moved out of Mark's grip to turn around to the island to get a fork when she quickly glanced over to where Sofia was playing in the living room. Her eyes fell on the child and noticed where exactly she was sitting. "Mark, she's playing by the fire place." She announced in a worried tone.

Mark followed Lexie's gaze and looked at his daughter. A chuckle left him at Lexie's worry. "Relax, Lex. I doubt that she will go anywhere near it after that time." He said and touched Lexie's back. It was cute how she was worried for Sofia. And often about small things.

"Probably, but still. Can't you go over there and just move her a few inches?" She begged and looked at him. She really didn't want the child to get hurt.

A sigh left him as he softly smiled at his wife. He understood her worry and obeyed to her request. "Fine." He agreed and walked over to Sofia.

Lexie let out a breath of relief and turned around to the stove. She closed her eyes as the memory flashed before her eyes.

.

 _Lexie sighed heavily after she swallowed that last bite. Mark had cooked a really delicious meal. Being stuck in a wheelchair, it was nice to have a man who did everything for her. It had been a few weeks since she was released from the hospital. She was eager to start to walk again, but her legs weren't completely healed yet. The most she could do at this point was to stand up for a very short while before she had to sit down again. But the apartment building had an elevator and Mark helped her with everything so it was fine. Eventually, she would start walking._

 _"Thanks for dinner, Mark." She said softly as Mark got to his feet and took the dirty plates. Sitting by the coffee table in the living room was more convenient when they had Sofia over._

 _"You're welcome, honey." Mark replied with a smile before turning to Sofia. "How about you, Sof? You enjoyed your dinner?" It had been the first time Sofia tried more 'grown up food' and he was curious what she thought about it._

 _The little girl smiled widely and nodded eagerly as she chewed her last bite. Apparently, she liked it and her eagerness made Lexie laugh a little. It was nice to have Sofia around to bring some joy and pleasure to Lexie's dark days._

 _"Wonderful." Mark said happily and then took the plates and walked over to the kitchen._

 _Lexie looked after him for a moment and then leaned back on the couch. She hated that she wasn't able to help him out with the dishes and cooking. It had been times were she felt guilty about it, but he always assured her that it was fine, that he would always do anything for her. A soft sigh left her as she watched Sofia drink from her zippy cup. She seemed to enjoy herself and she probably was aware that there would be desert pretty soon._

 _Sofia soon put her cup down and crawled over to her lego. Lexie wasn't sure what exactly she was trying to build, but it was probably some kind of tower. Sofia seemed to like it, anyway. Lexie turned her attention towards the flames in the fire place. Their orange color brought calm to Lexie's system. She had already lost count of all the evenings and nights she had spent in Mark's arms in front of the fire place. Whenever she was feeling down or sad or just woke up from another nightmare, Mark brought her to the living room, lit the fire place and just sat with her._

 _A crackle from the fire got Sofia's attention. The toddler put down her lego and looked at the fire for a long moment, amazed by the flames and their color. Before Lexie knew it, Sofia got up on all fours and was soon crawling towards the fire place, curious about the fire and what it was exactly._

 _Lexie's eyes widened as she realized that Sofia wasn't aware of the danger behind her mission. One touch on a flame and her hand would need a skin graft. "Sofia, no!" She said. However, the child didn't listen. She was too focused on the flames and eager to feel it. Lexie felt the panic rise in her body as Sofia got closer to the fire. "Mark!" She called but realized it would be too late by the time he got there._

 _As Sofia started to reach her arm out, Lexie sprung into action. She quickly removed the blanket that covered her legs, placed one hand on the arm rest and the other on the table. In one swift move, she pushed herself up and tried to take a step forward. But she was too weak. As soon as she let go of the arm rest and table, she fell face down towards the floor. Luckily, she landed close enough to the child so she could grab her arm and pull her back just in time before Sofia was about to put her hand on the flame. "No!" She screamed._

 _The loud thud from Lexie's landing and the way she screamed and pulled her arm made the toddler start crying. Lexie looked at the child and immediately felt the guilt washing over her. She hadn't meant to hurt her or make her cry._

 _"What happened?" Mark asked frantically as he practically threw himself down to the girls._

 _"She- she was about to touch the flames. She didn't li-listen so I…" Tears welled up in Lexie's eyes and her lips started to tremble. "Oh God, I hurt her." She said and broke down in tears._

 _Mark frowned at Lexie's explanation and soon figured out what really happened. He turned back to Sofia and gently grabbed her hands to examine them. She had no burn marks anywhere on her hands or fingers. Lexie obviously pulled her back just in time. "It's fine, Lex. She doesn't have any burns on her hands." He announced and turned back to Lexie who wouldn't stop crying. "She probably just got scared when you landed right beside her like that." He suggested and couldn't help but chuckle a little._

 _Lexie didn't find it funny at all. In her mind, she had hurt Sofia when she pulled her back, and scared her when she screamed at her. She managed to sit up and cover her face with her hands. God, she felt awful._

 _"Hey." Mark said and touched her arm. "Hey, it's okay. She didn't get hurt. Probably just a bit scared. Everything will be fine, Lex." He scooted closer to her and wrapped his arm around her. "Sofia." He called her name softly and reached out his other arm for her. When the still crying toddler got to her feet and walked over to her father, Mark embraced both his girls in each arm. "Shhh… It's okay." He whispered soothingly._

 _The girls cried in his arms for a few minutes. He kept stroking their hair and tried his best to give them some comfort. Eventually, the crying ceased and they both seemed to calm down a bit._

 _"Okay. Let's do a quick ouchie check." He said and looked at Sofia. "Sofia, any ouchie?"_

 _"No. No ouchie." Sofia replied._

 _"Good. Lexie, any ouchie?" He asked and looked at his girlfriend._

 _Lexie sniffled a little and shook her head. "No…"_

 _"Great." Mark said in a happy tone. "I just remembered, I got some ice cream for dessert."_

 _'Ice cream' got Sofia's attention. She looked up at her father and the crying just vanished like magic. She wiped her eyes and managed to give her father a small smile._

 _"Yeah, ice cream." Mark repeated and looked over at Lexie who didn't seem too excited. She kept her face buried in the crook of Mark's neck. But for Sofia's sake, he kept going. "I got Cookie Dough for you-" He said and pointed at Sofia. "and Peanut Buttercup for you." He pointed at Lexie._

 _Sofia smiled widely and got really eager to get some ice cream. "Ice cjeam!" She exclaimed happily._

 _"Yep! You know where the spoons are, Sof. Why don't you go get them and I'll get the ice cream." Mark suggested._

 _The girl didn't have to be asked twice. In an instant, she was running towards the kitchen to get the spoons. Mark then turned back to Lexie and moved a strand of hair behind her ear. "You okay?" He asked softly._

 _Lexie just nodded and wiped the tears. She felt awful, but she wasn't physically hurt._

 _"Come here." He said and managed to scoop her up in his arms and carry her back to the couch. Once she was down, he put the blanket over her legs and kneeled down in front of her. "Thank you."_

 _"For what?" Lexie asked bitterly and kept avoiding eye contact._

 _"For saving my daughter from getting a nasty burn." He replied sincerely. "If it hadn't been for you, we would have been in the ER right now."_

 _Lexie sighed heavily and wiped the last tears from her cheeks and nodded._

 _"Let's eat some ice cream now, okay?" He asked and gently touched Lexie's cheek, causing her to finally meet his eyes. When she nodded again, he smiled and leaned forward to kiss her on the head. "Be right back." He said and got to his feet and walked over to the kitchen._

 _._

"Lessie."

Lexie was pulled back to reality when she felt Sofia tug lightly on her shirt. She blinked a few times before meeting the child's eyes. "Yeah, Sof?"

"Daddy hurt." Sofia said sadly and looked over to the living room.

Lexie had been so deep in her own thoughts and it took her a moment to realize what Sofia meant. Her eyes widened as she looked over to the living room. Her eyes settled on Mark who was currently sitting on the couch, leaning against his knees and groaning in pain. Lexie turned off everything on the stove and rushed over to the couch and kneeled down in front of her husband. "Mark."

"I- I'm… Fine, Lexie." He stuttered out and winced in pain.

"You're not fine." Lexie said firmly. "What can I do?"

"Nothing. It- It will- pass soon." He said and breathed through the pain.

A heavy sigh left Lexie and she felt so helpless. She just wished she could do something to help him. "Is the pain worse than before?" She asked softly and touched his knee.

"No." Mark groaned and finally felt the pain cease a bit. "No… It's the same." He breathed heavily and closed his eyes as he leaned back in the couch. The pain finally vanished.

Lexie felt like she might cry. This was terrible and now she understood why he had kept these pains a secret. "God, I hope you get the surgery soon." She whispered and closed her eyes.

"I will. It will get better, don't worry." Mark assured her and ran a hand over his face. It had been a while since the last 'attack' and he was thankful that it ceased so quickly. He stayed like that for a moment before he opened her eyes and searched for his daughter. He must have scared the life out of her. "Sofia?"

Lexie opened her eyes when Mark called his daughter's name and looked around. Soon, the toddler slowly walked over to the couch with tears streaming down her face. She looked like she had seen a ghost.

"Oh, Sofie." Mark said softly and sat up straight on the couch. "Come here." He said and reached his arm out for her.

"No." Sofia said and took a step back.

"Sofia, it's okay. Daddy is fine now. It was just a little ouchie." Mark assured his daughter and kept his arm out. "Sofia, please."

Lexie looked between the pair and slowly moved over to Sofia and touched her arm. "It's okay, Sofia. Daddy is okay now. Nothing is gonna happen." She whispered assuringly. "Just a small hug, okay?" The child hesitated but finally gave in. Slowly, she made her way over to her father and let him embrace her in a light hug.

"I'm sorry, Sof." Mark whispered in her ear as he stroked her back. "I didn't mean to scare you. But everything's fine now." He added and looked over at Lexie. After a moment, he pulled back from the hug and looked deeply into Sofia's eyes. "Everything is fine now." He repeated and smiled at her.

Sofia nodded and sniffled a little before wiping her eyes. Lexie then moved closer to the pair and offered them a smile. "The pancakes are almost ready. Wanna help me make the table?" She asked.

Sofia nodded and gently grabbed her father's hand. With a smile on his face, he got to his feet and followed Sofia to the kitchen to get everything.

Lexie watched them and sighed heavily. This morning hadn't been the best. Now she could only pray that the rest of the day would be better.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey everyone. Thank you for all the favs and follows. I'm a bit disappointed that I didn't get as many reviews as usual, but I hope that will change after this chapter! :)  
** **Things will get a bit intense and dramatic soon. I have a lot of ideas for this story and I'm excited to share it with you!  
So here is chapter 5. Please leave a review and let me know what you think! They make my day :D  
Enjoy!**

* * *

"So. What do you girls wanna do today?" Mark asked softly before taking another bite of his pancake.

"I don't know." Lexie replied after taking another sip of her juice. The tension had been weird ever since Mark's 'episode'. Sofia was still a bit freaked out but she seemed to have calmed down. At least she was eating her breakfast. "What do you want to do, Sofia?" Lexie asked and glanced over to the dark haired child.

Sofia was focused on getting her last really big piece of pancake into her mouth, but as she chewed, she thought about how she wanted to spend the day with her father and stepmom. At the age of 3, she had started to develop interests, and she often knew how she wanted to spend the day. After a moment of thinking, her eyes started to shine. "Picnic!" She exclaimed with her mouth full, causing both Mark and Lexie to chuckle at the child's actions.

"A picnic, huh?" Mark asked and considered it a deal. The weather was perfect for once and it would be great to get out of the apartment for a few hours. "Yeah." He added and smiled at his daughter. "That sounds like a good idea." Just to be sure, he glanced over to his wife, who gave him a warm smile in agreement. And Mark could have sworn his heart skipped a beat.

"So, picnic it is, then." Lexie agreed and smiled at the pair. It would be a nice change for her. A break from all the drama and anxiety and a chance to just relax for a while. She welcomed the chance with open arms and she would make sure that this would be a joyful and peaceful day. "Well, we better start planning then. What kind of food do we want? Where are we going? Which blankets should we bring?" The excitement in Sofia's eyes expanded even more and someone would have to force the smile off her face.

"I'll tell you what," Mark interrupted and pushed his plate aside before looking at his daughter. "I'll clean this up and you and Lexie can go pack everything we need, okay?"

The little girl didn't have to be asked twice. In a blink of an eye, she had jumped off her chair and was now running towards her room to get her favorite blanket and make sure the tiger came with them.

"She seems eager." Lexie observed as she got to her feet and walked over to her husband. "You better be ready to leave as soon as possible." She joked and leaned down to kiss the top of his head. "No more episodes today, okay?" She hated to see him in pain, and she hated to see Sofia in pain because of his pain. He couldn't promise her, of course. But she could at least wish.

"No more episodes." Mark agreed and subconsciously rested his hand on her still flat stomach. This baby was one of the reasons he was gonna fight like hell to beat this thing. He wouldn't let his children grow up without a father.

"Thank you." Lexie whispered and kissed his head again. They stayed like that for a moment before Sofia called for Lexie from the bedroom. Both adults chuckled at the child's excitement. "Be right back." She whispered and planted another kiss before she walked into Sofia's room, ready to help the girl pack.

Mark inhaled a deep breath and exhaled slowly before he got to his feet and cleaned off the table.

Today would be a good day.

—

"Here, Daddy!" Sofia exclaimed and pointed on a spot she considered to be the best for their little picnic.

"Alright, Little Goose." Mark replied with a chuckle. Sofia truly was a daddy's girl and he should have learned by now that when he asked Sofia to decide something, pick a spot, pick a movie or whatever, she always completed the task and didn't give up until she was pleased. Just like him.

Lexie had barely placed the bag on the ground before Sofia dove into it and pulled out her favorite blanket. It got a bit tricky for her to unfold it and place it on the ground, but with some help from her father, she completed that task as well.

After they all helped to get everything out of the bag, they sat down on the blanket. Sofia immediately asked for her zippy cup filled with her favorite juice and leaned against her father as she drank from it. Lexie subconsciously leaned against Mark as well, and it felt amazing for him to be some kind of wall for his favorite girls to lean against.

They sat like that for a minute, enjoying each others's company and listening to the sound of the outside world. The barking dogs, the laughing children, the singing birds, and of course, the sound of Sofia gulping her juice. Lexie smiled at the feeling of Mark's hand running up and down her arm. After a moment, she felt herself closing her eyes.

The peace broke a moment later when Sofia suddenly was done with her juice and practically flew up to her feet. "Fisbee, Lessie!" She exclaimed and once again dove into the bag and grabbed the frisbee she insisted on taking with her. After all, this wasn't the first time she had been on a picnic, she knew how to spend the time.

Lexie opened her eyes and laughed when the dark haired child jumped up and down with the frisbee tight in both her hands. "Alright, Sofia. Let's throw the frisbee for a while and then we can eat the cookies we brought." She watched Sofia squeal in happiness and then ran out towards an open field. With the smile still on her face, she turned to Mark and kissed him on the cheek. She was about to get to her feet when she felt his hand on her arm, stopping her. "What?" She asked softly as she looked back at him with a frown on her face.

"Be careful." He told her, his voice barely above a whisper. The concern was written all over his face.

The frown turned into a genuine smile. Without hesitating, she leaned forward to capture his lips with her own. The kiss was reassuring, silently telling him not to worry. "I will." She whispered once they pulled apart.

Mark sighed when Lexie got to her feet and walked over to where Sofia was waiting with an impatient look on her face. A wide smile appeared on his face when Lexie walked a few feet away from Sofia and waited for her to throw the frisbee. Him and Sofia had thrown frisbees so many times and she had actually become pretty good at mastering the technique to throw it correctly. A chuckle left him when Sofia managed to throw it a bit too far to the right, causing Lexie to not being able to catch it. The laughter from Sofia made his heart skip a beat. Whenever Sofia was happy, Mark was happy.

The seconds ticked by and the more he watched his daughter and wife, the more his mind started to wander towards much darker places. Places he never wanted to visit mentally.

The plane crash had almost taken his life twice. Once during his cardiac tamponade out in the woods, and once when he fell into a coma back in the hospital. And he didn't know how, but somehow the thoughts about Lexie and Sofia was enough to bring him back. The thoughts of his wife and child made him stronger and helped him survive. However, now his mind was leading him towards those dark places where everything wasn't all fairytales and magic. He survived the plane crash, but what if, _God forbid_ , he wouldn't survive this cancer? What if Bailey would soon discover that the cancer is too aggressive and that there's nothing left to do but keep him comfortable as he awaits his death? What if Sofia and the baby resting in Lexie's uterus would have to grow up without a father? That was the first thing that entered his mind when Bailey told him about the test results. Sure, Sofia would be okay. She would have Callie and Arizona to take care of her, so he wasn't worried at all on that front. But just the thought of leaving Sofia was still almost enough to kill him. It wouldn't be fair to her. And not to mention the baby that was on the way. Lexie had about 7 months to go, and if the cancer would be too aggressive, he might have 6 months left to live. Meaning that Lexie would have to deliver the baby and raise it all on her own. And the baby would arrive into this world without a father.

 _Not fair._

What if he had moved back to New York when he actually planned to? Then he probably wouldn't have experienced a shooting and a plane crash. He would have been back in the city that he loved with his whole heart, the city where he belonged. He wouldn't have experienced a shooting and a plane crash, or seen his best friends get shot and survive a car crash. He wouldn't have seen the love of his life being close to death as she was crushed under a piece of plane. Everything might have been different and easier.

But then again, if he had moved back to New York, he wouldn't have met the love of his life, accidentally gotten his best friend pregnant, resulting in a daughter, and he wouldn't have another baby on the way with said love of his life. He wouldn't have a real family. And that thought brought a smile to his face.

Although, as soon as those wonderful thoughts entered his head, they left just as quickly. They got replaced by those awful thoughts about death, and just like that he was back on square one. The realization once again hit him that he might not survive this. There is still a big possibility that Lexie would become a widow, Sofia would grow up with only memories of her father, and the baby on the way would be born without one. And that scared him. It wasn't that he was afraid of dying, but he was afraid of not living. He was afraid of not being there when Sofia graduates high school, not being there when she brings home her first boyfriend, not being there when she is gonna have a baby of her own. He just wanted to _be there_.

And he would fight like hell to make sure that he would.

"Mark!"

He blinked rapidly and snapped out of his thoughts by the sound of his wife calling his name. Once he was back in reality, he noticed Lexie's concerned face. How long had he been distant and how many times had she been calling for his attention?

"Mark, the frisbee!" She called and pointed towards the frisbee that was now laying by his feet. Glancing towards Sofia, he noticed the slightly disappointed look on her face. He figured she had thrown it towards him, and he hadn't been present enough to notice. Just like that, the real smile was back on his face. Grabbing the frisbee, he got to his feet and took a few steps forward, getting ready to throw the frisbee back to his daughter.

"Here you go, pumpkin!" He called before throwing it back to Sofia, making it an easy catch for her. When the smile was back on Sofia's features, he decided to focus on just that. He was here to spend time with his family, dark thoughts didn't fit there.

It didn't take long for Sofia to make a game out of it. Automatically, the three of them created a circle. Sofia threw the frisbee to Lexie, who then threw it to Mark, who finished by throwing it back to Sofia, and so it went on. The smiles and laughter brought warmth to Mark's system. This was what he needed.

And just like that, the dark thoughts about death were gone.

—

"Wow. She fell asleep really quick today." Lexie said as she walked into the apartment, holding the door open for Mark so he could walk in with a sleeping Sofia in his arms. The sight made her heart skip a beat. She couldn't wait for the time to come when he would carry _their_ child like that.

"She did." Mark confirmed with a smile on his face. "I don't think I've ever seen her this energetic before. Poor thing was really exhausted when I put her in the car. What did it take, 50 seconds for her to fall asleep?" A soft chuckle left him as he planted a kiss to Sofia's head.

"Yeah." Lexie agreed and laughed. "As soon as the car started moving, she was a goner."

Mark was about to answer but he got interrupted when his phone sounded from his pocket, indicating that he received a text message.

"Wow, someone is popular today." Lexie said with a light chuckle. "That thing has been going off ever since we left the park."

"It's Derek." Mark explained and adjusted Sofia in his arms, making it more comfortable for both of them. "He just wants to make sure that I'm okay." A light chuckle left him at his brother's protective side.

Lexie laughed lightly and took a step forward to get closer to Mark. "I think it's sweet that he cares about you so much." She couldn't help but gently stroke Sofia's hair as she spoke, admiring the sleeping girl in her husband's arms. Lexie truly loved Sofia like she was her own. " _Are_ you okay?" She had noticed that he seemed bothered by something at the park.

"I am." Mark replied softly and offered her a small smile. He switched the subject quickly by looking down at his daughter. "I'll just put her to bed, okay? And then we can go to bed."

"Sounds good to me." Lexie replied and couldn't help but laugh. "I'll be in the bedroom." She added and kissed him on the cheek before she headed towards the bedroom.

"Yes, ma'am." Mark replied with a smirk and made his way towards Sofia's room.

Mark smiled to himself when he gently laid Sofia down in her bed and pulled the covers up. The child stirred a little bit when she lost contact with her father, but Mark was quick to place her favorite tiger in her arms, and she was back in deep sleep. When Sofia started to breathe more deeply, Mark gently sat down on the bed and just admired his daughter. He loved her so much it almost hurt. And the last thing he wanted to do was leave her to grow up without him.

"I love you, Little goose." He whispered softly, failing to swallow the growing lump in his throat. "I love you so much, and I'm gonna fight like hell to beat this thing. You will not have to grow up without me. I promise." He finished off by leaning forward to kiss his daughter on the forehead. Thankfully, she didn't move.

And with that, Mark got up and turned the light off before making his way out of her room to get into _his_ room where his beautiful wife was waiting.

"Okay, Sofia is sound asleep." Mark announced as he walked into their bedroom, noticing that Lexie was already tucked in in bed, reading a magazine.

"Great!" Lexie replied happily as she glanced up at him.

Mark was happy to see his wife in a good mood. With a smirk on his face, he walked over to their closet and slowly started to pull his shirt off. He would just grab a pair of sweats and sleep shirtless, making it easier in case things got heated with Lexie.

It was when Mark started to take his shirt off, revealing his naked upper body, that Lexie's mind started racing. His chest and upper abdomen were full of scars. Those scars would always be difficult to look at, and they would always remind her of the plane crash. And like that wasn't enough, another scar would soon join the other ones. She could only pray that his surgery would go smoothly.

She snapped out of her thoughts when she felt the weight shift in the bed. After blinking a few times, she looked to her left and noticed Mark sitting down in the bed with a warm smile on her face.

"You okay?" He asked softly as he leaned back against the head board.

"I am." Lexie replied with a sigh and put her magazine on the night stand. It didn't take her long to make herself more comfortable and place herself in Mark's arms. Her head was resting comfortably on his shoulder and a smile covered her face when she felt his hand smoothly caress her arm.

They stayed like that in silence for a moment. Both just enjoying being close to each other and savoring the moment. With Sofia home, they didn't have as much time to be like this. And it would be even less once the baby arrived. Not that either minded. A baby was what they both had been longing for for a long time now. Their dreams were finally coming true.

"Hey, Lex…" Mark murmured softly, resting his head on top of hers as he kept caressing her arm.

"Yeah?"

"I have a question." His voice was soft like silk. And Lexie could sense some uncertainty there.

"About what?" She placed her hand on his chest in a smoothing motion.

"About the baby. Or more like the pregnancy."

"Okay. What do you want to know?"

"Well… I thought you were on the pill." It was a sensitive subject to Mark. He had been terrified that they had conceived their child really by accident. It wouldn't change anything for him, but if anything, it would be bad timing.

"I were…" Lexie didn't quite know how to reply to that comment. She _had_ been on the pill, but then she decided that it was time for a change. "I were, I mean…" With a frustrated sigh, she moved out of Mark's embrace and sat up, turning towards him and looked into his eyes. "I were on the pill. But then I started thinking, and thinking led to over-thinking. I wanted to have a baby with you, and after the plane crash, more than ever. But I was really afraid that my injuries form the crash would have affected my ability to get pregnant." When a lump formed in her throat, she desperately tried to swallow it and looked down. "I didn't want to worry you, so I made an appointment to check that everything was fine. When I got the confirmation that it was, I stopped taking the pill in hope of getting pregnant."

"And you did." Mark added with a smile, reaching up to stroke her arm.

"Yeah." Lexie said and sighed heavily. "But it didn't happen right away. I stopped taking the pill like 5 months ago, and nothing happened. Sure, 5 months may not be very long, but I was really scared that the doctor had made a mistake. That something _was_ wrong with me. I was so scared that I would never get pregnant.

"But you did get pregnant." Mark said with a determined tone and a smile on his face. Placing his hand under her chin, he made her look up at him.

"I did get pregnant." Lexie confirmed and sighed in relief. A small smile tugged on her lips.

"We are having a baby." Mark whispered and felt the smile grow wider.

"We are having a baby."

"Come here." Mark said and pulled her back into his arms again, this time wrapping them safely around her small body and kissed the top of her head. "I love you so much, Lexie. Don't ever forget that."

"I won't." She replied and closed her eyes. "And I love you too."

"Promise me something." He couldn't help it any longer. The dark, horrible thoughts were finding their way into his head again.

"Anything." Lexie assured and rested her hand on his chest again.

"If anything happens to me…" The thought only made him want to throw up. "If anything happens to me, promise me that you will keep in touch with Sofia. That you will stay in her life."

"Of course." Lexie didn't even have to think about it for one second. "Of course I will. Sofia is gonna have a little brother or sister. And I intend to keep them together. Our baby won't have to grow up not knowing his or her older half-sister."

"Thank you." Mark whispered and kissed the top of her head again.

"Will you promise _me_ something?" Lexie asked and started making small patterns on his chest with her finger.

"Anything, sweetheart." He confirmed and closed his eyes.

"Don't die on us." Saying those words were harder than Lexie had ever imagined. And the thought of losing Mark brought tears to her eyes.

Mark sighed heavily. That wasn't really up to him. Nevertheless, he took a deep breath, hugged Lexie tighter and said the words anyway.

"I promise."


	6. Chapter 6

**Look who's back with an update! I'm sorry for the delay but I've been busy with work and school. But now I'm back and ready to update my stories!  
Thank you for all the reviews! It makes me so happy and excited to keep writing! :D  
Hope you enjoy this chapter and make sure to leave a review! :D Bless the rains will be updated soon!  
(The italics in this chapter is a flashback)**

* * *

 _The wind was blowing cold over the plane crash scene. The smell of fuel and smoke was still strong. Not to mention the smell of sweat, dirt and blood. Cristina had mentioned wolves, which didn't make Lexie feel any better about this situation. But Cristina was clearly suffering from PTSD, so how could anyone blame her?_

 _The only thing that brought Lexie Grey some sort of calm right now, was the fact that she was laying in Mark's lap. She still couldn't believe how they managed to get her out from under that piece of plane, but they did. Mark was her hero, and she jokingly suspected that he had superpowers. Maybe he was Superman?_

 _They had been quiet for a while now. Mark had moved them so he was leaning against the piece of plane and placed Lexie's head in his lap. Occasionally, he'd checked her injuries and took care of them the best he could. Her whole left arm was crushed and broken all over the place. Same with her legs. Bones were sticking out. It was a miracle that her limbs were still connected to her body._

 _Lexie sighed heavily. The pain was horrible, but she fought like hell to make it work anyway. It was getting late and Mark had seemed really tired a few minutes ago, but she needed someone to talk to. And Cristina had ordered everyone to stay awake, meaning no sleeping. Looking up at Mark, she noticed that his eyes were closed. He had stopped stroking her hair a few minutes ago, so now she figured he was sleeping._

 _"Mark…" Lexie mumbled softly. "Mark, wake up. No sleeping, remember?"_

 _He didn't respond. Not even stirred or somehow acknowledged her voice. Lexie also noticed that he looked pale, which started to worry her._

 _"Mark." Lexie tried again, this time a little louder. He still didn't respond. And now that she was thinking about it, he didn't really look asleep. He looked more unconscious. The thought freaked her out. "Mark!" She called again and moved her good arm up to touch his cheek._

 _He was ice cold._

 _The panic rose inside her when she moved her fingers to check his pulse. It was weak. And when she moved her hand back down towards her again, she pulled on the collar of his scrub shirt, and briefly noticed the change of color on his chest. Pulling a little more, the view got clearer and his chest felt a little warmer._

 _"Mark!" She was almost yelling now, and she gently smacked his cheek in an attempt to wake him up, which of course didn't work._

 _"Cristina!" She screamed and turned her head towards the other surgeons that were resting a few feet away. "Cristina, help!" Cristina Yang was basically a boarded cardio surgeon, and Mark's current condition was clearly cardiac._

 _The asian woman slowly got to her feet and made her way over to the couple as soon as she could. "What's the matter, Lexie?"_

 _"Look at his chest." Lexie's voice was shaking as she spoke._

 _Cristina frowned but did as she was told. She managed to rip a part of Mark's shirt open and gasped at the sight. "Oh crap… Mer!" She called and turned towards the other Grey._

 _"What is it?" Lexie asked in panic, not liking Cristina's reaction._

 _"Looks like a cardiac tamponade." Cristina replied and managed to lift Lexie off of Mark's lap and lay her down on the ground before laying Mark down._

 _"Oh God…" Lexie mumbled and broke down in tears._

 _It didn't take long for Meredith and Derek to make their way over with an oxygen mask. Lexie could only watch as the three of them talked quietly with each other, trying to avoid the younger Grey to hear, and come up with a plan to save the love of her life._

 _A minute later, when Meredith used a top of a hat for a bottle to stick into Mark's chest, Lexie closed her eyes. Her heart broke when she heard Mark groan loudly in pain. This wasn't fair, and she couldn't help but blame herself. She had been with him all this time. They had been monitoring each other. She should have noticed earlier._

 _"Try not to move, Mark…" Cristina mumbled as she guided Meredith with the 'needle'. "Okay, deeper." Cristina ordered, causing Meredith to shove the thing deeper and harder._

 _The scream Mark made when the blood shot out made Lexie want to die. She forced herself to look over at Mark and reached her hand out to grab his. "It's okay, Mark. I'm here… You're gonna be okay."_

.

"Lexie?"

Lexie snapped out of her thoughts when someone called her name. Blinking a few times, she soon came back to reality. Her chocolate brown eyes quickly found Mark's ocean blue ones, which also were filled with concern. She must have been out of it for a while.

"Are you okay?" Mark asked with a frown and moved a strand of hair behind her ear.

Lexie couldn't form words at the moment, so she just nodded and grabbed his hand, squeezing it tightly. And when he squeezed hers back, she knew this was for real. He was here, alive.

"You don't have anything to be nervous about, Lex." Mark said softly and caressed her cheek with his thumb. "It's just a check-up."

His words made her remember where exactly they were. But just to be sure, she glanced around the room. The waiting room in OB were filled with pictures of babies, uteruses and vaginas. It was the baby pictures and the warm color on the walls that brought Lexie some calm. Today was time for her 10 week check-up.

"It's gonna be alright." Mark assured and offered her a warm smile. "In a few weeks, I will have my surgery. And then we are gonna focus 100% on you and the baby. Okay?"

Lexie glanced back to Mark and felt herself fall in love with him all over again. How did she manage to marry this amazing man? The way he was looking at her sent a wave of calm through her body, and just like that she started to relax. With a soft sigh, she smiled back at him and nodded. "Everything will be fine."

Seeing Lexie smile made Mark's smile grow wider. Without wasting a minute, Mark leaned forward to give Lexie a soft kiss. It had become a habit somehow. Whenever one of them was upset or feeling down, they would talk about it, make the other feel better, and then finish off with a kiss. It was like a ritual.

"Alexandra Grey Sloan." An OB nurse called, holding an iPad in her hands and glancing around the waiting room for the patient.

They broke the kiss and held each other's gaze for a moment before Lexie gathered herself to meet the nurse's eyes. "Yeah." She said and got to her feet. She could feel Mark close to her all the time as they made their way over to the nurse. And that feeling was wonderful.

"Hi, I'm Lizzie. This way, please." The nurse informed with a smile and led the couple to the exam room. Lexie felt familiar walking into the room. Mark on the other hand, seemed to get nervous. He hadn't been in an OB exam room since before Sofia was born.

"You can sit down on the bed. Dr. Carter will be here soon." Lizzie told the couple, the smile still on her face. She left the iPad on the table and then left the room, leaving Mark and Lexie alone.

Lexie laid down on the bed and Mark sat down in the chair beside it. Out of habit when it came to doctors appointments, he took her smaller hand in his and squeezed it tightly, making sure that she knew that he was there. They locked eyes with each other, both knowing what the other was thinking. This was an amazing feeling. Finally what they both had been dreaming about was coming true. They were finally in the OB room, patiently waiting to see their little miracle on the monitor. The feeling sent warmth through both of them.

The moment got interrupted when the door opened and Dr. Carter entered the room, causing the couple to break the gaze and glance up to the person who would soon help them see their baby.

"Okay, are you ready for the second ultrasound?" Dr. Carter asked with a big smile on her face as she walked over to the machine and prepared everything.

"Yes, we are." Lexie replied and squeezed Mark's hand. When he squeezed it back, she took it as a sign that everything was fine. The last thing she wanted was for him to feel uncomfortable.

"Great. Let's take a look." Dr. Carter said and squeezed some gel onto Lexie's stomach.

As Lexie was waiting for the sound of the baby's heartbeat to pop up on the monitor, she glanced over to Mark and smiled assuringly at him. She sensed that he was nervous, and she wanted to make sure that everything would be all right. Mark responded by mirroring his wife's smile, silently telling her that everything was fine. He was nervous but excited. After all, this was his baby with _Lexie._ A baby he, for a time in his life, doubted would ever exist. But here it was, resting in Lexie's uterus, growing like a mighty oak.

"There it is." Dr. Carter said and pointed on the monitor, showing the peanut shaped figure that was supposed to be their baby. "Strong heartbeat and the fetus is growing fast. Perfect size for 10 weeks." The smile was big on her face as she spoke to the parents-to-be.

Mark let out a sigh of relief and Lexie chuckled nervously as they looked at the monitor. Mark's grip on her hand became a little tighter, not that she minded. "That's our baby." He whispered and leaned down to kiss her temple.

"That's our baby." Lexie replied and could feel tears well up in her eyes as she thought about it. Her first ultrasound was special, but now it was even more special with Mark present.

"That's your baby." Dr. Carter finished off and printed a photo of the image before removing the machine.

She kept going with the standard check-ups such as checking Lexie's vitals and a pelvic exam. When she was done, she removed her gloves and made some notes on her iPad. "Have you thought about an amnio?" She asked and looked up from her notes.

"Uhm…" Lexie started and glanced over at Mark when she felt him drop her hand. He was looking down at the floor and didn't look comfortable at all. She actually could sense some anger. "Uhm, we… We haven't really… Talked about it." Lexie replied and glanced back to her doctor. It wasn't a decision that she wanted to make alone, and not right away when she knew how Mark felt. "But it- it's no rush, right?"

"No, no, no." Carter replied and smiled. "No rush. The tests aren't done until week 15 anyway. But I just wanted to suggest it and give you time to decide. And keep in mind that I'm only suggesting it. You're not over 40 and you don't have any genetic disorders, but some women want the test anyway."

"Yeah, I understand." Lexie said and could feel the tension get hard between her and Mark. "I'll let you know." She finished and offered her a small smile.

"You do that. I'll see you for your next appointment." Dr. Carter answered and handed Lexie the ultrasound picture before she left the room.

Silence fell between the couple as Lexie stood up and pulled down her shirt and gathered her stuff. Mark was nice enough to hold the door open for her, and they walked in silence down the hallway back to the surgical wing. The tension was hard, though, and Lexie was torn between talking and wait for him to talk first.

Nothing happened.

Soon enough, they were reaching the surgical floor. And Lexie knew that once they arrived, they would go separate ways and probably not see each other all day. However, Lexie wanted to solve this now.

"Mark."

"What, Lexie?" He asked bitterly as he kept walking.

"We should discuss this."

"No need to discuss it. You already know what I think." When he reached the nurses station, he grabbed his iPad and started to check his first patient's chart, still avoiding eye contact with Lexie.

"But that's not the point, Mark." Lexie pressed and stopped beside him by the counter. "Even if I do know what you think, I want us to discuss it. I want you to listen to what I think."

Mark chuckled bitterly and shook his head as he scrolled through the chart. "Right. So you can hear my opinion, tell me yours and then decide what _you_ want. Because, apparently, I never get a say in these things."

"Mark, that's not-"

"I have a patient." Mark snapped and left the counter without so much as a glance towards his wife.

Lexie looked after him as he left and felt her eyes fill with tears. The check-up wasn't supposed to end like this. It was supposed to be a happy moment, Mark wasn't supposed to be angry with her. Damn that doctor who decided to bring up such a sensitive subject. And the test wasn't even necessary. With a frustrated sigh, Lexie leaned against the counter and wiped her tears.

"Hey, Lexie." Meredith greeted with a smile as she approached her sister and left a paper on the counter.

"Hey." Lexie replied quickly and turned around to hide her red, puffy eyes from her sister.

"What's wrong?" Meredith asked, immediately noticing what Lexie tried to hide. Panic filled the older Grey when she remembered that Lexie had an OB appointment today. "Oh my God… Is it the baby?" She asked softly.

"No, the baby is fine." Lexie said softly, forcing the tears to stop filling her eyes. This wasn't the time or place to cry.

"Then what is it?" Meredith asked, placing a hand on her sister's shoulder.

Lexie sighed heavily and weighed her options before deciding to tell Meredith the truth. "It's Mark…"

"What? Is he being a jerk about all this? Do I need to kick his ass?"

"No…" Lexie sighed and finally turned around to face her older sister. "The doctor mentioned an amnio. And you know how Mark felt about that when Callie was pregnant, and I respect that. But I didn't expect him to just storm off and treat me as if I just ordered an abortion. I just… I wish he would be more reasonable."

Meredith listened to her sister and sighed. She did remember how Mark felt about an amnio the last time a woman was carrying his child. In a way, it was really cute seeing Mark being so protective. But he had no right to be a jerk towards Lexie. "So you want me to kick his ass." Mer said, adding a joking tone to the statement.

"No…" Lexie replied, smiling a little and shaking her head. "But what do I do now? He won't even look at me. It's like I'm an enemy who is trying to harm the baby or something."

Meredith Grey had always been the dark and twisty sister with all the problems in the book. Lexie was the sweet angel who didn't deserve this. She deserved a happy life full of rainbows and unicorns. With a sigh, she touched Lexie's shoulder. "My best advice is to give him some time. Let him blow off some steam and hopefully, he'll come around and listen. And if he doesn't, I'll send Derek to kick his ass."

A small laugh left Lexie. Her sister's advice was good and her joke about Derek kicking Mark's ass actually made her laugh. With a small smile, she nodded her head. "Okay. Thank's Meredith."

"You're welcome."

—

When Lexie got home later that night, she found Mark on the couch watching the baseball game. Neither of them had seen each other at all today, and she knew it was because both of them was avoiding the other. And it frustrated her that Mark was being so immature and unreasonable. They were going to be parents, for crying out loud.

She had been patient. She had done as Meredith said and gave him some time to cool off, to really think about it. But now she'd had enough, and while at home, there was no way to avoid the conversation.

With a heavy sigh, she forced herself to calm down and walked over to sit down beside him on the couch. Looking down at her hands, she took a breath. "Mark, please. We should talk about this."

Mark sighed heavily. He had hoped that this would just vanish into thin air, but he knew he would be wrong about that. Turning off the TV, he placed the remote on the table and glanced over at Lexie. "Fine."

Lexie was relieved when he agreed to talk about it. Gathering some courage, she looked up at him and exhaled loudly. "Okay." She murmured. "You don't want the test."

"I don't want the test." Mark confirmed seriously.

"Why?" She already knew why, but she wanted an answer anyway.

"Because statistically, it will do more harm than good. There're a lot of risks involved, and I don't like it." His eyes were firm as he spoke, it felt like a wall.

"But those risks are really small. Only 1 in 300 suffer a miscarriage."

"Yeah. And what if the woman before you is number 299?" It took all of Mark's willpower to keep himself calm. "And like you said, it took a long time for you to get pregnant. Do you really want to risk it? What if you won't be able to get pregnant again?

Lexie was running out of patience. "But you don't know that's gonna happen. I'm not over 40 and I'm healthy."

"Still." Mark replied dryly. "I don't want to risk it."

"Okay. Here's the thing, I hadn't considered the test before, but now that I've thought more about it, I'm leaning towards it. Think of it this way; what if the baby isn't healthy? What if, God forbid, there is something wrong with the baby that we should know about? Something that might make it easier, or at least less painful to…"

Mark expression changed in less than a second. Lexie didn't finish the sentence, but both knew what word she avoided. The word that was connected to Satan. The word that made a cold chill run through Mark's spine. With a low, growly voice, he asked the question anyway. "Less painful to what…?"

The pain in Mark's expression broke Lexie's heart. She hadn't meant for it to come out like that. "Mark… I didn't mean it like that."

"But that's what you were going to say." Mark stated, his voice cold. "One problem and you're getting rid of the baby?"

"No! Mark, I-"

"Save it." Mark barked and got to up from the couch and headed for the front door.

"Mark, please!" Lexie was getting desperate, and the tears weren't late to fill her eyes.

He didn't respond. He simply walked out of the apartment and closed the door behind him. And the sound made Lexie break out in sobs. How did this happen? How did a simple exam turn into their biggest fight yet? And how could she be so stupid to bring up an abortion? She knew it was a sensitive subject. She felt so selfish and mean.

Pulling one of the pillows close to her, she laid down on the couch and squeezed her eyes shut as the tears streamed down her cheeks.

—

About 40 minutes later, Mark slowly opened the door to their apartment. After a long walk, he had cleared his head and calmed down. What were they fighting about exactly? And how did it blow up like this? He had been unreasonable, and he knew it. But when it came to babies, he didn't want to risk it. Addison had terminated her pregnancy, Sloan left and gave her baby away for adoption, he almost lost Sofia. Nothing were to go wrong this time.

He knew Lexie didn't mean what she was about to say earlier. Deep down, he knew she was right. There might be something wrong that they should know about. Now he felt guilty for being such a jerk about this. Hence, the teddy bear and chocolate box that were resting in his arms.

Glancing over to the couch, he noticed that Lexie was curled up on the couch, hugging a pillow. She was most definitely asleep. With a sigh, he made his way over and crouched down in front of her. He looked at her tear stained cheeks for a moment before he gently ran his hand through her hair. "Lexie." He called softly. "Lexie, honey. Wake up."

She stirred a little but soon opened her eyes. When her view got a bit clearer and revealed her husband, she shot up to a sitting position. "I'm sorry. I am so sorry, Mark. I didn't mean it like that. I wasn't suggesting an abortion, I would never do that. I don't know what I was thinking. But I don't want the test if it's gonna end up with us fighting like this. I can't do it, I love you too much and all this fighting gives me anxiety. Please, Mark. I'm sorry!" Fresh tears were streaming down her cheeks as she let everything out.

"Shh…" Mark whispered and gently caressed her cheek. " _I'm_ sorry. I know you didn't mean it like that. But I thought about what you said, and you're right. If there is something to know, we should know."

"No." Lexie said and shook her head frantically. She sniffled and wiped her cheeks as she tried to calm down. "No, if it's gonna make us fight, I don't want the test. It doesn't matter what kind of baby it is."

"Are you sure?" Mark asked softly and wiped a remaining tear.

"I'm sure." Lexie assured and looked down at her hands that were resting in her lap. She took a deep breath before she spoke. "Listen, I… I know how tough it was for you when Callie was pregnant. There were three of you and you felt left out and ignored. I don't want you to feel like that this time. There's not gonna be any rules or a 'vagina vote' or whatever. You are the baby's father and you get a real say in this. I don't want to make any decisions alone."

"Thank you." Mark replied softly and moved a strand of hair behind her ear, causing her to look up at him.

"I love you, Mark." Lexie whispered softly.

"I love you too, Lexie." Mark replied with a smile on his face.

"What's that?" Lexie asked with a small chuckle and nodded towards the chocolate box and teddy bear in Mark's hands.

A small laugh escaped Mark as he looked down at the items and then showed them more clearly to her. "This is me apologizing for being such a jerk." He explained and handed them to her. "I'm sorry."

"Oh, Mark…" Lexie sighed as she looked at the brown bear that was holding a heart with the text 'I love you'. "You didn't have to do that." She said and admired the bear.

"It's for you and the baby."

"Well, the baby and I both love it." The smile spread on her face as she looked up at her husband. "Thank you."

Mirroring her smile, Mark got up and sat down beside her on the couch. In an instant, she had placed herself in his arms and soon opened the box of chocolate. They sat in silence as they both started eating from it.

As Lexie rested comfortably in Mark's arms, both forgiving each other and finally putting this fight to rest, she sighed in pleasure and rested her hand over his chest. The feeling of his heartbeat under her palm was wonderful.

Everything would be fine.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey, guys! I'm so sorry for the delay! Work is crazy and I had a completely different idea for this chapter. But I've been stuck for weeks and didn't get anywhere so I finally decided to take it another way. And voilá! Took me three days to write it. Lesson learned; when I get stuck on the same page for more than a week, I'll need a different approach ;)  
** **This is once again a pretty emotional chapter, but I felt that it was necessary. Don't forget to leave a review and let me know what you think! :D**

* * *

"Peanut."

"What?" Lexie asked with a chuckle as she looked up at Mark.

"Peanut." Mark repeated.

"Mark, it's a baby." Lexie corrected and giggled.

"Hmm... It looks like a peanut." Mark stated and frowned at the sonogram resting in his hands.

"But it is a baby." Lexie told him and smiled lovingly. It was a beautiful sight to see Mark looking at the baby through the sonogram photo.

"I know." He said with a smile and placed the photo on the coffee table. With a sigh, he moved off the couch and placed himself on his knees on the floor right in front of his wife. Moving closer between her legs, he leaned forward and placed his hands on her small baby bump. Leaning forward, he placed a kiss on the belly and hummed softly, his thumbs caressing the sides of her belly.

Lexie loved this. Having him between her legs was always amazing. But this was a whole different kind of amazing. She smiled lovingly at her husband as she ran her fingers through his hair. Words weren't necessary at the moment. Just enjoying each other like this was more than enough.

"Hey, Little Peanut," Mark said quietly against Lexie's stomach and smiled to himself at the nickname he just gave his unborn child. Now he had them all; Little Grey, Little Goose and Little Peanut. "It's Daddy." He continued and closed his eyes. "I hope you're doing okay in there and that Mommy is taking good care of you. Sorry if I'm disturbing your sleep or something, but I just wanted to tell you that I love you very much and I can't wait to meet you." A heavy sigh left him as he finished talking. What if he wouldn't be there to meet his child? "Let's make a deal. I will fight like hell to beat this thing, and you will help me take care of your mommy once you're born."

Lexie closed her eyes and prayed that Mark would stop talking. She couldn't handle this right now. They hadn't talked about anything resembling baby problems or cancer in a while now and she didn't want to start now. "Mark, please." She whispered pleadingly and fought the tears. "Please, not now."

"Daddy loves you, Peanut." Mark continued as if Lexie hadn't said anything. "I love you and your mommy so much. Just one more day and then we'll get back to normal." He was so relieved when Bailey had finally set up a date for the surgery. Although he got more and more freaked out the closer they got to the day.

"We love you, too." Lexie whispered, still fighting her tears. "But please, Mark. Not now."

Mark went silent. He didn't want to cause Lexie any pain whatsoever. That wasn't fair. A heavy sigh left him before he planted a kiss to her belly and then rested his head against it. "When will it start kicking?"

"Around week 18 or so." Lexie replied softly and sniffled, quickly wiping away any tear that might have escaped.

"I can't wait." He whispered and smiled widely.

"Me neither." Lexie replied in the same tone of voice and ran her fingers through Mark's hair. Silence fell between them for a moment before Lexie chuckled softly. "That's a good nickname, though. Little Peanut."

"I thought so." Mark agreed and closed his eyes. He knew it was too early, but he couldn't help but wishing that the baby would magically kick inside of Lexie's belly.

Lexie just looked down at Mark for a moment, savoring the feeling of having him so close. She loved running her fingers through his thick, salt and pepper hair. She just loved _him_.

"Hey." Lexie said after a minute of silence. "What do you think about this color for the nursery?" She asked and lowered her gaze to the magazine she had been reading earlier. "I like this beige-pink color. It's pretty natural."

"Let me see." Mark said and slowly let go off the belly to sit down beside Lexie on the couch. He wrapped one arm around her and glanced to the page she was showing him. "Hmm… Yeah. Not too pink. I like it."

"It works for either a boy or a girl. And frankly, even if we did know the gender, I wouldn't want to paint the walls pink or blue, you know." Lexie smiled to herself and felt proud that they were taking the first steps to making a room for their little miracle.

"What about the crib?" Mark asked as he glanced over to the next page in the magazine.

"I don't know… Maybe that one?" She asked and pointed to a dark grey, round crib.

"That one has wheels." Mark said and pointed to a different one. "Easier if we have to move it."

"True." Lexie agreed and weighed the options. "Do we really have to decide now, though? Maybe we can find one on the internet that's both round and have wheels."

"No rush, Lexie." Mark assured and kissed her temple. "All though…" He trailed off and couldn't help but smirk. "I've already ordered membership cards for the Yankees." He said quickly and got up from the couch, more like fleeing.

"You what!?" Lexie yelled jokingly and glared at her husband. "Traitor." She muttered with a smirk.

"What? You can't expect me to support our child rooting for… What, Red Sox?" Mark laughed and shook his head.

"No, but maybe he or she wants to root for the Marines. You know, since our child will be born and grow up in _Seattle_." Lexie was trying to act and sound angry, but the smirk on her face betrayed her.

"Ugh. Even worse." Mark said, trying to sound disgusted.

"Whatever." Lexie muttered jokingly. Shaking her head, she turned her back towards him and started looking in her magazine again.

Mark sighed in pleasure and smiled at his wife on the couch. Without a word, he walked back to where he previously sat and sat down beside her again. "What time does your shift start?" He asked and placed his hand on her knee.

"Eight am." Lexie replied and glanced up at him with a smile.

"Do you have to work today?" Mark asked in a low voice and looked down. He really didn't want her to leave.

"Yes. I'm sorry." She said apologetically. Technically, she didn't _have_ to go. But she didn't want to stay home and 'admit' that this would be their last day together. Mark would survive this.

Mark sighed and nodded in understanding. She was a resident, she needed all the OR time she could get. "You're taking care of yourself, right? Make sure you eat something before a surgery and stay hydrated?"

"Yes, Mark." Lexie replied casually. It was nice that he cared about her and the baby's wellbeing so much.

"Good." Mark whispered and scooted closer to his wife. His hand moved from her knee to rest gently on her lower abdomen. "I don't want anything to happen to either of you, okay?"

"I know." Lexie whispered and moved her hand up to touch his cheek. "And same goes for you."

"Tomorrow." Mark whispered and closed his eyes. One more day until his surgery. One more day until he was free from this hell.

"It's gonna be okay." Lexie whispered and leaned her forehead against his.

"It's gonna be okay."

—

Lexie took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment as she exited the resident's locker room. She hated leaving Mark alone on his day off, and the day before his surgery, but she really wanted to work. Mark would be okay. _They_ would be okay. After exhaling, she straightened her lab coat and walked down the hallway to find Derek. Neuro was really interesting and she was considering it as a specialty. And Derek was the best teacher in the country so she was thankful to be serving under him.

It didn't take her long to find him. A small smile covered her face as she approached her brother in-law by the nurses station. "Dr. Shepherd."

"Dr. Grey. Nice to see you today." Derek replied and glanced up from his tablet, a small smile on his face as he looked at her.

"Same to you."

"How's Mark?" Derek asked gently, approaching the subject carefully.

"He's… Fine." Lexie said and glanced down. "He's fine." She repeated in a more determined tone. "He's home today, taking it easy and preparing for the surgery."

"That's good." Derek said and nodded in understanding. When Lexie didn't reply, he glanced back to his tablet and cleared his throat. "How would you like to help me remove a brain tumor?"

"I would like that very much." Lexie said and found herself smiling again as she looked up at her attending.

"Great. Let's go." Derek offered his sister a small smile as he handed her the tablet and led the way towards the patient's room. He knew Lexie needed something else to think about other than Mark. Tomorrow would be an exhausting day for her and she needed all the strength she could get.

Once they reached the patient's room, Lexie pushed all thoughts about Mark aside and decided to focus 100% on the present. Derek opened the door and they both walked in, determined to get this tumor out of his brain.

"Dr. Grey, present." Derek ordered in a soft tone and glanced over to his resident.

Lexie cleared her throat before glancing down at the tablet. "Jimmy Carson, 38 years old. Was diagnosed with a tumor in the frontal lobe. Previous treatment has been radiation to shrink the tumor and now we are gonna try and get it out."

"Excellent, Dr. Grey." Derek said proudly and smiled at her before turning to his patient. "How are you feeling mr. Carson?"

"I'm fine, thank you. Well, as fine as could be expected." Mr. Carson replied and chuckled. "I feel very safe in you and this young doctor's hands." He added and smirked at Lexie.

"That sounds good, mr. Carson, but you are aware of the risks, right?" Lexie asked softly.

"I am." Carson replied and nodded. "But I'm willing to take the risk."

"Even though I tried to talk him out of it." A blonde woman said from the door way with a smirk.

"Michelle." Carson greeted with a smile as the woman walked over and gave him a soft kiss. "Dr. Shepherd, Dr. Grey, this is my wife, Michelle." Carson said and smiled.

"Nice to meet you." Derek said and shook hands with the woman.

"Likewise." Michelle replied and shook Lexie's hand as well. "So you think you can remove my husband's tumor?"

"Well, Dr Shepherd is the very best." Lexie assured with a smile. "If anyone can remove it, it's him."

"Then I feel safe." Michelle replied with a smile and glanced over at her husband. They intertwined their hands and just smiled at each other.

It made Lexie miss Mark. And the thoughts about tomorrow entered her head. Mark's tumor wasn't as severe as Jimmy's was, but every tumor was different. That's what was the most scary part about operating on tumors, you never knew what to expect. And anything could go wrong.

"Well, the surgery is scheduled in a couple hours. So take all the time you need and spend it with each other." Derek said and smiled at the pair. "Dr. Grey will be back to prep you for surgery."

And with that, Derek took the tablet from Lexie and led the way out of the room. Once they were out of earshot, Derek turned to Lexie and eyed her carefully. "Are you okay?"

"What do you mean?" Lexie asked and tried her best to brush it off. She knew what he was worried about.

"This case. Can you handle it?"

"Of course, I can." Lexie replied firmly.

"Are you sure? Because it's not easy to handle a case that is close to a personal level."

"I am aware of that. But I promise you, I'm fine."

"Okay then." Derek said softly and offered her a small smile. "But if you have any doubts or feel any discomfort, just talk to me. Okay?"

"I will." Lexie said softly and nodded.

"Great." Derek nodded and turned to walk away. After a few steps, he turned around again and looked at her. "How's your baby, by the way?" He asked with a smile.

Talking about the baby always made Lexie feel warm inside and brought a smile to her face. _Little Peanut._ "It's fine. Growing like a mighty oak."

Derek chuckled softly. "That's great. I'm gonna be an uncle again."

"You are." Lexie agreed and laughed. "Thanks for asking." She added.

"Anytime." Derek said and turned to walk away. "See you in surgery."

—

Lexie had a smile on her face and went into doctor mode as she entered Jimmy Carson's room a few hours later. She felt confident about this surgery, and it made her feel better about tomorrow. "Okay, Mr. Carson. Time to prep you for surgery." She said in a happy tone.

"See, she is confident." Jimmy said with a chuckle and glanced over to his wife. "If the doctor is confident, why can't you?"

"You know why, Jimmy." Michelle said and glanced down. Clearly, this whole thing was starting to affect her.

"Honey, it's gonna be okay." He said and reached for her hand.

"You don't know that!" She snapped and jerked her hand away before glancing up at Lexie. She took a deep breath before speaking. "I'm pregnant." She said and moved her hand to rest on her abdomen.

Lexie forced herself to keep her expression to herself. The woman was pregnant? And her husband was sick? Suddenly, it felt like she was looking in a mirror. A mirror that was mockingly reflecting her own life. A pregnant woman and her sick husband. It sounded like a bad sit-com. "Oh." She said and tried to push the feelings aside. "How far along are you?"

"Twelve weeks." She replied in a whisper and looked down.

 _Twelve weeks. Same as me._ Lexie thought to herself and wanted to throw up. How was this happening? And why now?

"Michelle…" Jimmy said softly and reached for her hand again. "I'll be okay."

"You better be." Michelle replied and took a deep breath before taking her husband's hand.

"Do you need some more time?" Lexie asked softly, finally finding her voice.

"No." Jimmy said and glanced over to his wife. "I want the surgery. The faster we get the thing out, the better."

"Okay." Lexie said and nodded, putting her tablet down and started preparing everything. She made sure to avoid eye contact with the pair as she did so.

Once she was done with the prepping, she took a deep breath and started writing on the tablet. "Okay, a nurse will come and take you to the OR in a minute." She said in a rushed voice before quickly leaving the room. She had been confident, up until now. Now she was scared. Scared for her patient, scared for her patient's wife and unborn child. But mostly, she was scared about tomorrow. This could be Mark's last day alive and she was wasting it on a patient that may not make it through the surgery. Lexie placed her tablet on the counter by the nurses' station and closed her eyes, taking deep breaths in an attempt to calm herself down.

"Lexie." Derek greeted as he approached her. "Is our patient ready?"

"He's ready." Lexie said, her voice barely above a whisper.

"You okay?" Derek asked, clearly noticing that something was wrong.

"Mark didn't want me to leave this morning." Lexie said, keeping her eyes closed and forced herself to keep it together. "He's having life threatening surgery tomorrow, and here I am, working while he's spending his day off at home. I should be home with him. He didn't want me to leave but I did it anyway because I don't want to admit that he might die tomorrow."

Derek didn't know what to say to comfort her at this moment. He knew there was a risk with Mark's surgery, but he was confident that Bailey, Webber and Meredith would fix it. Mark would make it.

"She's pregnant." Lexie continued. "Mr. Carson's wife is pregnant. Twelve weeks, just like me." She felt tears prick her eyes, but she wouldn't give in.

"Do you want off this case, Lexie?" Derek asked softly and touched her arm.

"No, I don't." Lexie said in a determined tone. "I want to help you save him. Because we are. We are gonna save him." She said and looked up at her attending.

"Are you completely sure?"

"I'm sure." She repeated and nodded. "I'll be there I just… I just need a minute."

"Take your time." Derek assured her and offered her a warm smile. "I'll see you in the OR." He added before turning around and walked towards the scrub room.

Lexie looked after him for a moment before she turned and walked further down the hallway. Slowing down her steps, she reached for her phone and unlocked it. After some scrolling, she found Mark's contact and pressed dial. Placing the phone to her ear, she took a deep breath and waited for him to pick up.

Thankfully, it didn't take him long to do so.

" _Hey, Lex._ "

"Hey…" She replied in a soft whisper, not trusting her voice to hold.

" _How's it going? Derek made you head of neuro yet?_ " She could hear him chuckle on the other end, and all she could think about was that she might never hear that again.

"No, not yet." She replied and tried to play along on his joke. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes as silence fell between them for a moment. "How are you?"

" _I'm fine. Just took Sofia down for a nap. Callie is picking her up later so we have the night to ourselves._ "

"That's nice." Lexie replied and found herself smiling despite her feelings. She would not give in.

" _What about you? You okay?_ "

"I'm fine." She lied. "I'm… I'm scrubbing in with Derek soon."

" _That's nice. Play your cards right and you'll be kicking Derek's surgical ass by the end of this week._ "

Lexie didn't reply to that one. She just took a deep breath and opened her eyes as she leaned against the wall. "I'll be home as soon as possible."

" _Can't wait._ "

"I love you, Mark." She said and felt her heart clench in her chest.

" _I love you too, Lexie._ "

"I have to go now." She said sadly and glanced down at her watch.

" _Okay, see you tonight._ "

"Yeah. Bye."

" _Bye._ "

And with that, Lexie heard the click and listened to the beeping tone on the other end, indicating that Mark had disconnected the call. She took a deep breath and tried to gather herself before she headed to the scrub room. Hearing Mark's voice gave her some strength. She would get through this.

—

"All right, Dr. Grey. You ready?" Derek asked as he looked down at their patient on the table. So far the surgery had gone smoothly. It was an easy incision and Lexie helped Derek burr holes in the skull. Now they both paused for a moment, taking in the sight of the exposed brain in front of them. Here was the hard part; using the instruments to get the tumor out. Without creating any complications.

Lexie took a deep breath, forcing herself back into doctor mode. She couldn't think about this patient in any other way than just a patient. She couldn't think about the fact that he had a pregnant wife waiting for him in the waiting room. She couldn't think about that Mark would be on this very table tomorrow, with her waiting outside.

"Dr. Grey." Derek pressed, sensing that Lexie was somewhere else mentally.

"I'm ready." She replied and nodded.

"Good." He said and received the instrument from one of the nurses and handed it to Lexie.

"No." She said and looked up at him. "You do it, I'll be happy to just assist on this one."

Derek frowned at her but decided not to question it or push her. As long as she learned from this surgery, he had done his job correctly. "Okay. Let's do this." He said and began the procedure.

They worked together in perfect synch, like a dance they had practiced long enough. Lexie had learned Derek's moves and was now almost handing him the instruments before he even asked for them. The surgery went smoothly, no complications as they approached the tumor. Everything went the way it should.

Until…

The two surgeons froze in their spot as the monitor started beeping frantically. All eyes shot up to the screen that revealed v-fib and a blood pressure that was through the roof.

"He's in v-fib. Charge the paddles!" Lexie ordered and moved over to the patient's chest, preparing to start CPR.

"Damn it, the brain is swelling. I can't see anything." Derek muttered under his breath and cursed the tumor, trying to work as fast as he could to save what could be saved.

"Clear!" Lexie called and used the paddles to shock her patient. The monitor went silent for a moment before going back to beeping like before.

"No change." Derek announced.

"Charge to 300. Clear!" Lexie shock the patient again, still without results. "Come on. Again!" Lexie called and raised her voice.

Derek glanced over to his resident for a second before looking back at the brain in front of him. There was too much damage. The tumor must have ruptured and created more damage. There was nothing left to do for this patient now. "Lexie…"

"Charge again!" Lexie shouted, ignoring her attending. "Clear!" After shocking him a third time, the only change was that he flat lined. No heart activity at all. "Come on! Push one of epi!" Lexie couldn't lose this patient. She couldn't lose _Mark_.

"Lexie." Derek pressed. When he still didn't receive a response, he sighed, put his instruments down and walked over to her. "Lexie-"

"Don't." Lexie spat at him and kept her eyes on the monitor. "Push one of epi and charge the paddles." No one did as she said. The nurses knew it was useless. And the look on Derek's face confirmed that. "Come on!" She yelled.

"Lexie." Derek tried again more softly and placed his hands on her shoulders. "There's nothing left to do. He's gone."

It took Lexie a moment, and Derek stood by her side to wait for her realization. But soon enough, she exhaled loudly and put the paddles down. It was useless, she knew that. This patient was a lost cause from the beginning, she knew that too. And Derek and been trying to get her off the case, for her own sake, she knew that as well. But she had pushed herself, and that was on her.

"Time of death… 4.43 pm." Derek announced sadly, watching one of the nurses walk over to the monitor and turn it off. Silence filled the room for a moment before the nurses started working with the patient, removing all the instruments to wrap him up in a body bag.

Lexie felt sick and she thought she was gonna pass out as she and Derek walked out of the OR and removed the surgical stuff. But she had come this far, and the only way to finish the job was to follow Derek out and talk to their patient's wife.

They washed their hands in silence before slowly walking out of the scrub room. They headed towards the waiting area, both making up in their mind what to say to this woman. Every case was different and you always had to treat a death clearance as if it was the first time.

As they approached the waiting area and spotted mrs. Carson sitting on one of the chairs, Lexie decided to stay out of it and let Derek do the talking. She was in no emotional state to talk to this woman at all.

"Mrs. Carson." Derek said softly as she noticed them and got to her feet.

"Is he okay? Can I see him?" Michelle Carson asked frantically, a bit of hope in her eyes.

"Mrs. Carson." Derek repeated and took a deep breath. "During the surgery, we bumped into some complications. His blood pressure rose, which caused the brain to swell and eventually, causing his heart to stop. We tried everything, pushed all the meds we had. But he wasn't responding. Jimmy died, I'm so sorry."

Lexie was barely hearing anything Derek said. All she could do was focus on the face of Michelle Carson. The way her expression changed from hopeful, to shocked, to devastated. She felt her heart break as the woman in front of her broke down in tears and sat back down on her chair. An older woman, presumedly her mother, wrapped her arms around the younger woman and held her tight.

It was getting too much for her. This was reminding her too much about herself, and the fact that this could be her tomorrow. She couldn't handle it. With a quick glance towards Derek, she let out a breath and turned to walk away. She was thankful when Derek didn't try to stop her or even call her name after her.

She had to get out of this place and get back to the one person that meant the whole world to her. _Now_!

—

Lexie kept it together all the way home from the hospital. She kept it together as she entered the apartment building, thankful that she didn't run into any neighbors. She kept it together as she rode the elevator up to the fifth floor and walked down the hallway towards the door to the apartment she shared with Mark.

Taking a deep breath, she unlocked the door and slowly opened it. As she took a step inside, she was greeted with the sound from the television and the smell of whatever meal Mark was currently cooking. After closing and locking the door behind her, she removed her coat and hung it up along with her purse. She closed her eyes for a brief moment and then walked in, heading towards the kitchen.

"Hey!" Mark called without looking up from the stove. He heard the door and didn't have to look up to know that it was Lexie. "You're right on time. Dinner will be ready in a few minutes." He added, unaware of the broken look on his wife's face.

Lexie didn't respond. She stopped by the kitchen island and looked at her husband. Michelle Carson lost her husband today. And Lexie Grey-Sloan might lose hers tomorrow.

And suddenly, she couldn't keep it together any longer.

The tears were now streaming down her cheeks as she slowly walked closer to Mark, silently debating if this was a dream. Was he really here in front of her? Had he already died and she was just dreaming about him? Only way to find out was to reach out and touch him. If she could feel him, he was most probably real. But she couldn't move.

Mark could feel Lexie's presence and glanced up to meet her eyes. A concerned look covered his face as he took in her broken expression and tear stained cheeks. "Lexie… Lexie, what's wrong?" He asked softly.

Lexie just stared at him for a short moment before it happened. A heartbreaking sob escaped her small lips before she practically threw herself into Mark's arms, securely wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Lexie…" Mark called her name softly and wrapped his arms tightly around her, his thumb making small patterns on her back. "Hey, what's wrong?" He whispered against her neck.

The sobs had taken over completely. Her heart clenched in her chest and she found it difficult to breathe. Tightening her death grip on Mark, she decided to let it all go, all the feelings needed to get out.

Mark realized that there was nothing to do but hold her as she let everything out. After all, it wasn't the first time he was holding her like this. He listened to her heartbreaking sobs as he kept making soothing patterns on her back and holding her close, making sure that she knew he was there.

It felt like an eternity, but it probably was just a few minutes. But soon enough, Lexie started to calm down and the crying seemed to cease. Still holding a death grip on Mark, she took a deep breath before speaking. "Please don't die tomorrow."

He didn't think it was possible, but he managed to hug her even tighter. "I'll do my best." He whispered, knowing that she knew he couldn't promise that.

"I don't want you to die." She whispered as she closed her eyes.

"I know." He replied in the same tone of voice, sighing softly against her neck. When she didn't reply, he smiled slightly and planted a kiss to the side of her head. "I got something for you." He said in a teasing voice, hoping it would make her think about something else.

"What?" Lexie asked and slowly let go of the death grip and leaned back to look at him.

With a smirk on his face, he just nodded towards the living room. "We get the night to ourselves, why not make the best of it?"

Lexie followed Mark's gaze to the living room and noticed the mattresses by the fire place. Despite her emotions, she let out a small giggle and actually smiled. "You made a bed by the fire place?"

"I did." He confirmed and grinned at her. "You feeling better?" He asked softly and touched her arm.

Lexie sighed heavily and wiped the remaining tears on her cheeks. "No. But I will soon."

"Okay." He nodded. "Dinner will be ready soon. Just sit down and relax for a minute."

Lexie looked up at Mark and felt herself fall in love with him all over again. It freaked her out as much as it soothed her. With a small nod, she went over to sit down by the table, watching carefully as Mark worked by the stove.

In that moment, she decided to push the feelings about tomorrow aside, and focus on the here and now. Because tonight was all about them.


	8. Chapter 8

**I am so so so sorry for the delay on this story. Life's been taking over and I've been kinda stuck on this chapter. But I've been writing all night to get it up for you.  
This chapter actually got me pretty emotional. And seriously, Mark and Lexie totally took over. I had no control! But I really love it when that happens!  
Things are getting more intense here, guys. And I'm excited for the next few chapters. I have things planned ;)  
Hope you enjoy this chapter, and don't blame me if you run out of tissues :P  
As always, reviews make my day!**

* * *

To say that the day had been rough was the understatement of the year.

The case Lexie had been on today brought up a lot of unwanted feelings for her. Feelings she was trying to bury in the very back of her mind in order to focus on things that were actually good. Like the baby resting in her uterus.

Because let's face it, Lexie was pregnant with Mark Sloan's child. And that was the best thing that could ever happen.

In the beginning of their relationship, she hadn't really considered starting a family with Mark. And especially not at 24 when she was still an intern. However, when Sloan Riley first appeared, Lexie realized that Mark was serious about a family. Even though he let Lexie down and chose his daughter over her, saying that that would be his only chance at a family.

That was partly the reason that she left that night.

But she had a ring on her finger now. A ring that indicated that she would never leave him again. This was for forever.

The fire in the fire place delivered both warmth and a wonderful sense of calm that Lexie hadn't felt in quite some time now. It had been a long time since Lexie had spent any time at all in front of the fire place with Mark by her side. Since Sofia were at their apartment more and more, they got less time to themselves. Which was something they would have to work on once the baby was born.

For the first time today, Lexie actually felt good.

And she would be lying if she said it wasn't because of the several amazing rounds of sex.

Sex with Mark Sloan had always been something really special, and not just because he was very skilled. But because of the way they truly connected. She felt complete. Maybe Mark had been right, they were really meant to be.

She had closed her eyes after that last round. Just being close to Mark, feeling the warmth from both his body and the fire made her relax like she never did before. She basically used Mark as a human pillow right now, with her head on the crook of his shoulder, her arm lazily placed over his upper chest, and her leg over his thighs.

Yep, if Lexie Grey were to die right now, this would be the perfect way to do it.

"Lex..." Mark's soft voice worked it's way into her ears and pulled her back to consciousness.

"Hmm... Just give me a few more minutes," she mumbled, not feeling quite ready for another round this close to the last one.

"No, not that," Mark corrected and chuckled softly as he casually ran his finger up and down her arm. "I just want to talk."

"About what?" Lexie asked softly, keeping her eyes closed and inhaling his scent.

"Well... Anything," Mark lifted his gaze up to the ceiling, looking at nothing in particular. He took a moment to reconsider his decision before opening his mouth again. And as usual, he decided against it. "Are you okay?"

Lexie knew that question would leave his mouth at some point during this night. That was Mark Sloan in a nutshell. And she knew it wasn't just a general question. It was specific to how she had been acting when she got home from work. "I'm fine."

Lie.

Mark sighed. He may have cancer but he wasn't stupid. At times, he would claim that he knew Lexie better than she knew herself. And this was one of those times. "So what was with that sudden phone call?"

"I don't wanna talk about it," Lexie muttered and snuggled up closer to her husband, now suddenly praying for another round of sex just to get him to shut up for a while.

"Lex, please." Mark didn't want this to turn into a fight, nor did he want her to be upset. "What did I vow to you at our wedding?"

"No," Lexie muttered and squeezed her eyes shut. "You don't get to use that against me right now." She hated when he used that card whenever she didn't want to talk about something. But with her photographic memory, she remembered it clearly.

 _I vow to always be there for you whenever you need me, however you need me._

"I'm not using anything against you, Lexie. I just want you to tell me what's wrong."

"You already know." Her voice had taken on a lighter tone now, and a lower decibel level. Anything to cover the sound of her crying.

"Did something happen at work?" he asked in a soft tone.

Lexie sighed heavily before she slightly pulled away from Mark to look into his beautiful eyes. The eyes that tomorrow might close forever. "Our patient didn't make it," she whispered.

Mark looked deeply into her beautiful brown eyes and then reached his hand up to touch her cheek. "I'm sorry," he whispered softly. Losing a patient was never easy.

"I just need you to make it."

"I'll do my best." Mark knew that both knew he couldn't promise anything.

A ragged sigh escaped her lips and she was fighting the tears. Swallowing the lump in her throat, she looked down at her hand that was resting on his chest, right above his heart. She would give anything to just keep feeling his heart beat steady under her palm.

"Hey," Mark said in a soft tone, waiting for her to look up at him and meet his eyes.

"What?" Lexie asked and slowly lifted her eyes, only to be met with the classic Mark Sloan-smirk and shining eyes.

"I've technically given you a few minutes," he said in a teasing tone and wiggled his eyebrows.

Despite herself, Lexie found herself chuckling at his words. "That is true," she agreed with a smile.

"Come here." With a smile on his face, he pulled Lexie close to him and captured her lips with his own. Feeling relieved when she responded to it and deepened it immediately.

They figured they were done with words for a while.

—

Some time later Lexie was laying completely wrapped in Mark's arms. If someone were to try and take Lexie away, they would have to fight Mark Sloan first.

Mark could feel Lexie breathe more and more deeply, indicating that she was slowly drifting off to sleep. However, sleep didn't come as easy for him. His thoughts were racing 100 miles an hour.

Even though he still refused to admit it, this might be his last night alive. His very last night with Lexie by his side. This time tomorrow, Lexie might be a widow, and Sofia would be fatherless. These were horrible facts that he tried so hard to bury in the back of his mind, but it was getting more and more difficult by the hour.

A crackle from the fire place pulled him out of his own thoughts and made him turn his head towards the fire. It was then he realized that the fire was slowly starting to burn out. He could also feel the cold surrounding them more and more, and he didn't want Lexie to be cold right now. Also, the fire was kind of cosy.

Carefully, Mark started to move Lexie away from him without waking her up. Thankfully, she didn't make a sound as he laid her down on her side.

His mission was successful until he started to move away.

"No, don't," Lexie mumbled as she got a grip on his arm.

"Lexie, relax. I'm just gonna lit the fire place again," he explained with a slight chuckle. He gently grabbed her hand and tried to move it away from him, but she refused to let go.

"No," she mumbled with a more firm tone. "Don't leave."

"Honey, I'll be right here," Mark tried to reassure. "I won't go anywhere."

Lexie slowly opened her eyes and looked at her husband for a moment until her eyes fell on the fire place behind him. With a sigh, she slowly let go off his arm. But she would make sure to keep her eyes on him so he wouldn't leave.

Mark offered her a loving smile before he turned around to the fire place and added more wood in there to restart the fire. He stayed there for a moment, making sure that the fire wouldn't blow out, before he laid back down on his side to face Lexie.

"There," he said and moved his hand up to caress her cheek. "All done."

Lexie swallowed hard and locked eyes with him. Those gorgeous blue eyes she never could get enough off. There were times she thought about what a perfect match they were. How his ocean blue eyes were such a nice contrast to her dark brown ones.

And she couldn't help it when she thought that this might be the last time she got to drown in those beautiful blue eyes.

"What are you thinking about?" Mark asked softly and kept caressing her cheek in a soothing manner, sensing that her thoughts might be dark.

"You," Lexie replied honestly. "Us."

With a smile on his face, he gently moved his hand from her cheek and down to her belly. It was still early, but he kept praying that the baby would magically kick. "We'll be fine, Lex."

"You don't know that," Lexie whispered, breaking the eye contact and looking down at the very tight space between them.

"Yes, I do," Mark replied. "At least I'm willing to believe."

Silence fell between them since Lexie didn't have a good reply to that one. A part of her knew that Mark was right. No-one could guarantee anything, but they could believe. And just pray for a good outcome. There was no use in worrying until tomorrow.

"We should get some sleep," Mark whispered softly as he kept his hand on her belly and making small patterns with his thumb. He had no idea what time it was, but he assumed it was late.

"I don't wanna sleep," Lexie replied in a soft whisper, slightly shaking her head.

"You seemed kinda sleepy just a few minutes ago."

"Not anymore."

What Mark didn't know was that Lexie was gathering courage to get some things off her chest. Things she had wanted to tell him for a long time but always found some lame excuse to avoid.

Things that needed to be said before tomorrow.

"Lexie?" Mark asked and moved his hand up to her cheek again.

"I'm sorry," Lexie blurted out in a regular tone of voice.

"For what?" Mark asked softly, gently moving his thumb over her cheek, waiting for her to look at him.

"Everything," Lexie said and finally lifted her gaze to meet his. "I'm sorry for everything I've ever done to you. For dumping you when Sloan appeared, for treating you like crap after that. I'm sorry for sleeping with Alex right after we broke up. I'm sorry for not listening to you when you wanted a second chance, for not letting you help me after the shooting. I realize now that you just wanted to help and that the reason you stared at me was because you loved me, not because you thought I was a psycho. I'm sorry for not being grateful when you helped me in the psych ward, because you did a good thing. I'm sorry for treating you like crap after that, not listening to you when you just wanted to help me. And God, I'm sorry about the Sofia thing. I just… You wanted to make it work from the beginning and I didn't want to listen. I have no excuse for that. I'm sorry for how I treated you at that time. And for getting together with Jackson. I hope you know that I love Sofia now and I regret not giving that a chance from the beginning. We could've made it work. I wasn't fair to you. And I'm sorry for everything after that. For neglecting you when you just wanted to be friends even when I was dating Jackson. And I'm sorry for not telling you I loved you sooner before the plane crash. I had so many opportunities but I didn't take them. I just… I'm sorry." The tears were falling freely at this point and she didn't bother to wipe them away.

"Hey, hey," Mark whispered and casually wiped her tears with his thumb, subconsciously moving closer to her. He understood what she was doing. "Listen to me. _I forgive you_. I'll always forgive you. You actually have no reason to be sorry because I know you acted in the way you thought was best at the time." He offered her a small smile and kept wiping the still streaming tears. "And to be honest, I haven't always treated you fairly either. I'm sorry for choosing Sloan over you, I should've found a way to make it work with both of you. And I'm sorry for ignoring you after we first broke up, that was a horrible thing to do. And I should've found a better way to talk to you after the shooting, and really explain that I just wanted to look after you. Communicating has never been my strong suit. And as far as the Sofia thing goes… I shouldn't have just thrown that over you and expected you to be okay with everything. There were like a billion different ways to approach the subject. We could have worked it out." He paused for a moment before he got to the hardest part. "I'm sorry for not responding like I should have when you finally told me. There's no real excuse for that. I just hope you can forgive me." He looked down and locked his gaze onto her belly, trying to find some comfort in the living evidence of how great their lives turned out, despite all the drama and ignored opportunities.

"I guess I caught you at a bad time," Lexie said and smiled through her tears. She didn't care about all the bad things Mark had done over the years, she was just grateful that they had cleared the air. She sniffed a bit and got serious again before looking down. "Also, I'm sorry for throwing that ball at your girlfriend."

Mark just chuckled at her confession and looked up at her again as he moved his finger under her chin, successfully making her look at him. "I _knew_ you didn't think she was stealing second," he said with a smirk.

Despite herself, she actually laughed through her tears and nodded. "No. She was just dating the love of my life. And that pissed me off."

"With good reason," Mark said and leaned down to kiss her softly. "And I forgive you for that," he added once he pulled away. "I'll always forgive you."

"And I will always forgive _you_ ," Lexie stated as she touched his cheek gently. She held his gaze for a moment before she sighed. "I just wish things would have turned out differently. I wish I would have done things differently."

"Lexie, there's no use in dwelling on the past. What's done is done, and the important thing is that we're together. We are meant to be, and everything that happened, happened for a reason. All those things led us to where we are today. So stop regretting what you did or didn't do, and focus on the here and now." Mark held her gaze steadily as he practically tried to drill those words into her head. Anything to make her understand and agree.

Lexie just stared at him, slowly taking in his words and realizing that he was right. Dwelling on the past wouldn't do any good whatsoever. She swallowed the lump in her throat before speaking again. "Don't ever leave me."

He didn't verbally respond. He just wrapped his arm around his wife and pulled her as close as possible to his body. With a sigh, he kissed the top of her head and slowly rubbed her back with his hand. He didn't dare to promise her anything because he had no control over the future. A sigh left him again as Lexie practically glued herself to him, and he knew he would literally have to fight her in order to be released. Not that he minded. "You feel better now?" he asked softly and placed another kiss on her forehead.

"Yeah," she whispered and breathed in his scent.

"Good. So you're ready to get some sleep?" Tomorrow would be a long and tough day for her, and he just wanted her to get some rest.

"Nope."

"Come on, Lex," Mark said and jokingly whined. "I already have to deal with this with Sofia, I don't need to put another baby to sleep. Also, we both really need some rest. Big day tomorrow."

"I don't care," she whispered.

Mark gave up. Just like with Sofia, he knew he would have to wait it out. Sleep would overcome her eventually. In the meantime, he remembered a thing he could do to make sleep come quicker for her.

With a smirk on his face, he gently rolled them so Lexie was on her back, his body covering hers. Before she had time to react, his mouth was covering hers in a soft kiss. He mentally chuckled when he felt her relax almost immediately, basically releasing the death grip she had on him earlier. After breaking the kiss, he rested his forehead against hers. "So no sleep, huh? How are we gonna spend the time, then?" he asked with a smirk.

Despite how tired Lexie really was, she smiled sweetly and wrapped her legs around his hips, and her arms around his neck. "Well, I don't know," she began and pretended to be thinking for a moment. "We could always play chess," she said with a wicked grin.

"Wow," he said and laughed before moving a little above her to get a better position. "Way to dirty it up, Little Grey." With a smirk on his face, he leaned down to kiss her neck as his hand moved up and down her side.

"I've learned from the best," Lexie joked and closed her eyes as she let him torture her with soft kisses.

"You sure have," Mark whispered against her skin as he kept placing kisses onto her neck. He took his time to really butter her up for a moment before he pulled back slightly to look at her. "I love you, Lexie."

Lexie slowly opened her eyes when she noticed that he had stopped what he was doing. She held his gaze for a moment before moving her hand down to his cheek, caressing it softly. "I love you too, Mark."

Without another word, Mark leaned down to capture Lexie's lips with his own. The kiss started out soft, but both knew it would be heating up shortly.

And tomorrow would be another day.


	9. Chapter 9

**Wow, I'm on a roll this week. Two updates with only days apart :P  
** **Thank you for the reviews on the last chapter. That one was emotional and I almost made myself cry with those I'm sorry-speeches.  
** **I hope you like this chapter just as much. We are getting closer to Mark's surgery. But with surgeons like Webber, Bailey and Meredith Grey, he'll be fine :)  
** **Enjoy, and don't forget to leave a review :D**

* * *

"Is that okay for you? Are you comfortable? Should I get you another pillow?"

Lexie was working her ass off for Mark right now. His surgery was in a few hours and she just wanted him to be comfortable while they were waiting.

Once they both fell asleep after that very last round of amazing sex, Lexie actually slept good. And she slept all night. The morning had been pretty good. Mark wasn't allowed to eat anything, and she was too nervous to have more than a sandwich and coffee, but so far, the morning had been pretty good.

Except that Lexie was about to explode with nervousness. She thought it would help that they had now arrived to the hospital and set Mark up in his private room.

It didn't.

"Lexie, would you relax? I'm perfectly fine," Mark said with a light chuckle. He understood Lexie's worries, but frankly it wasn't necessary. "Besides, that is the nurse's job. Not yours."

"Well, as your wife, I say it is very much _my_ job to make sure that you are comfortable," Lexie argued, placing her hands on her hips. A sigh left her before she finally sat down on the chair beside the bed. "Seriously, though. Are you comfortable?"

"I'm fine," Mark said honestly with a warm smile on his face. "Would be nicer with you beside me here, though."

"I… I…" Lexie wanted to, but something was holding her back. "I shouldn't. Bailey would kill me."

And as if on cue, Dr. Bailey walked into the room along with the other surgeons who were gonna operate on Mark; Dr. Webber and Dr. Grey. "Dr. Sloan, how are you feeling today?" Bailey asked in a soft tone as she got her tablet to check his chart.

"I'm fine, thank you," Mark replied sincerely, carefully watching the surgeons in front of him. He felt more than confident in their hands.

Lexie had mixed feelings. She was both relived and concerned when the doctors arrived. It was a good thing that they were operating on Mark, but she couldn't help but worry about the outcome. No surgery was guaranteed to succeed. Especially not tumor removals. Every tumor was different, and the outcome always depended on what the situation looked like once the surgeon got in there to take a look.

However, all of that changed for Lexie when another surgeon entered the room

Dr. Yang.

"Wa- wait," Lexie stuttered our as she glared at Cristina making her way over to Mark. "What is Cristina doing here? Mark's case isn't cardio."

"Well," Meredith began and used a soft tone towards her little sister. "Since Mark's condition after the plane crash…"

"We just want to make sure his heart is stable enough for the surgery," Dr. Webber finished.

"Yeah," Cristina said in a monotone voice as she began to examine Mark. "It's just a routine pre-op exam," she said and glanced over at Lexie. "Come on, Three. You know this."

Lexie understood what Meredith and Webber meant. And also what Cristina said. But the use of her old nickname from her intern year made her want to punch Cristina in the face. She wasn't 'Three' anymore. And frankly, she now realized, she wasn't even a surgeon today.

She was a wife. A relative.

"Lexie…" Mark whispered softly, reaching out for Lexie's hand as he sensed her bad reaction.

"I…" Lexie couldn't be here. Not right now. "You know what? Family aren't allowed in the patient's room during exams so I… I'm just gonna go," she said and glanced over at Mark for a short moment before she quickly left the room, stubbornly refusing to give in to her tears.

She kept walking and walking quickly down the hallway, making sure to avoid any at all contact with any colleagues. Finally, she reached the entrance doors and walked out.

It was raining. Of course, it was. Rain was always connected to disasters in this city. On bad days, there was rain. But Lexie didn't care. She just kept walking until she was fully outside and the rain was pouring down over her. Thanks to the loud thunder, she couldn't hear herself cry.

She placed her hand gently on her belly, attempting to protect the bump from the water. This baby would be the last living piece of Mark, and it needed to be protected at all cost. She couldn't risk anything going wrong with this pregnancy.

So all she could do, was take a deep breath and calm down. The baby didn't need to receive her stress.

"What the hell are you doing out here?" Jackson Avery asked in a firm tone as he came up behind Lexie.

"Leave me alone, Jackson," Lexie replied, not really caring anymore that she was crying her eyes out.

"Not a chance," Jackson muttered as he placed his jacket over her shoulders in an attempt to keep her warm and dry. "Come inside, it's raining and it's freezing cold."

"I don't care."

"Lexie."

"I can't lose him, Jackson!" Lexie cried out into the rain and finally glanced over to her ex-boyfriend. "I can't lose him. I've tried all morning to get used to the thought of going home without him, but I can't. Losing him would be the same as asking me to stop breathing. And I can't do that!"

"Okay, okay," Jackson said softly and moved so he was standing in front of her. Placing his hands on her shoulders, he stared into her eyes for a moment before speaking. "You're talking like he's already died. Which he hasn't. He's still alive, and you need to have faith that he's gonna make it. You will lose your mind if you're gonna keep getting used to something that isn't real. So instead of standing here and get a cold you don't need, you should be inside with him."

Lexie stared at the man who used to be her boyfriend. The man she thought she would spend the rest of her life with. That was until she realized she belonged with Mark. Jackson was right, though. And she knew that. With a ragged breath, she nodded and then looked down on her hand that was resting on her bump.

"Come on," Jackson said with a smirk as he turned Lexie around and walked her towards the doors. "Sloan is gonna kill me if I let anything happen to you. And I don't need his rage."

"Wait," Lexie said and stopped walking right as they got inside. A small smile was playing on her face as she looked at Jackson. "Mark told you to get me?"

"He told me to look after you," Jackson said as if it was obvious.

"Really?" Lexie asked as her smile grew bigger.

"Really," Jackson confirmed and mirrored her smile. "Come on, let's get a cup of coffee while we wait for them to finish the exam," he added and led Lexie towards the cafeteria.

—

Mark had been alone for a while now.

The exam was quick and painless. Cristina didn't find anything wrong with his heart, and everything was gonna go as planned with the surgery.

As Bailey explained, and already have a hundred times now, they won't know more about the tumor until they open him up and get a look at the thing. But they're certain that they will get it out and Mark will be okay.

Mark found comfort in that. However, he needed Lexie by his side. He knew this was tough for her as well, but he really needed her.

His thoughts got interrupted when Derek gently knocked on the door frame and then entered the room, a small smile on his face as he did so. "Hey."

"Hi," Mark replied tiredly, glad that his friend showed up, but he would've preferred his wife.

"How you doing?" Derek approached him carefully and slowly took a seat on the chair beside the bed.

"Fine, I guess," Mark said and sighed before running a hand over his face. "Lexie left."

Derek raised his eyebrows. "What do you mean 'left'?"

"Left. As in; left the room when things got rough for her." Mark didn't mean to blame Lexie or be mad at her, but at times, he felt that she didn't understand how tough this was for _him_.

Derek felt guilty. The case yesterday had affected her. And with that dead patient, she was convinced that Mark wouldn't make it either. "Did she tell you about our patient yesterday?"

"Yeah," Mark said and didn't understand what that had to do with anything. "The patient didn't make it."

Derek huffed. Clearly she didn't tell Mark the whole story.

"Wanna clear that up for me, Shepherd?" Mark was getting annoyed by Derek's attitude.

"The patient was a man with a very severe and complicated brain tumor," Derek began and leaned forward to get closer to Mark. "And as if a tumor wasn't enough, he was married to a woman he managed to get pregnant before discovering this tumor." Derek waited for Mark to meet his eyes before he continued. "And then he died. Leaving the wife and his unborn child behind."

Mark just glared at the closest thing he had to a brother. It was all so clear now. The devastated look on Lexie's face last night was now explained. "And she thought of…" Mark trailed off, suddenly understanding everything.

"Yeah," Derek confirmed and sighed as he leaned back in his seat. "But it was my fault. I should have kicked her off the case. I knew it was too personal for her but I let her continue anyway. So I'm sorry."

"Don't blame yourself." Mark wasn't blaming anyone. Every doctor had tough cases at times that just got too close to home.

Silence fell between the men for a moment. Both calming down and getting lost in their own thought.

After a minute, Mark glanced over to Derek and sighed before breaking the silence. "Will you promise me something?"

"What?" Derek asked curiously and leaned forward again.

"If anything happens to me, will you look after Lexie and Sofia for me?" Mark was dead serious as he stared into his best friend's eyes, pleading for him to do him this favor.

"Come on, Mark."

"I'm serious. Lexie will need someone to support her through this pregnancy. And Sofia needs a father figure. Not that it's anything wrong with having two moms, but I want her to have a father figure to look up to. She loves you already, all she ever talks about is Uncle Derek. And the new baby-" Mark cut himself off at the thought of the unborn baby.

"Mark," Derek called his name with a serious tone. "Stop talking like you're dying. You're not dying. Meredith, Bailey and Webber are gonna fix this. And Sofia is gonna keep you as a father figure, Lexie will have you to support her through the pregnancy, and the new baby will be thrilled to have you as a father. So stop talking like you're dying because you're not."

Mark sighed. If only he could find comfort in Derek's words. "Please Derek, I'm begging you."

Derek stared at his friend for a moment. "Fine," he said and nodded. "If anything happens to you, I will look after Lexie and Sofia."

Mark nodded. "Thank you."

A knock on the door frame caught the men's attention. And the sight of the person made Mark's heart skip a beat.

 _Lexie_.

"Am I interrupting something?" she asked softly.

"No," the McBrothers replied in unison, both smiling at the pregnant woman in front of them.

"In fact, I was just leaving," Derek said and smiled at Mark before getting to his feet. He glanced over at Lexie and took a few steps closer to her. "I'm sorry about yesterday. I'm your attending and I should have let you off the case."

"No, it's fine. I pushed myself too hard, I should've known better," Lexie said and moved a lock of hair behind her ear.

"Okay," Derek said and smiled before glancing back at Mark. "I'll leave you two to it. Don't be too loud since these walls are pretty thin. And try to not get your blood pressure up too high. The alarm will go off and nurses will run in-"

"Get out, Derek!" Mark barked at him with a joking tone and smiled.

"Bye," Derek said and laughed before walking out of the room.

Lexie sighed as she closed the door behind Derek and turned back to her husband. "I'm sorry," she said and walked over to the bed. "I shouldn't have run out like that. It- it just became too much." She gently grabbed his hand and sat down on the bed.

"Hey, don't worry about it," Mark replied softly and brought her hand up to his lips and kissed her skin. "I'm just glad you're back."

"I'll always come back," Lexie whispered. "How are you?"

"Vitals are stable, heart is stable. Everything is going as planned," Mark explained with a small smile.

"Good." Lexie leaned closer to him and rested her forehead against his.

"How are you?" Mark asked softly as he moved his hand to cup her cheek.

"Fine," Lexie whispered and found herself closing her eyes. "I just want this day to be over."

"It will be over before you know it," Mark said softly and caressed her skin with his thumb. "Now, are you gonna lie down with me or is this the closest I will get to you?"

Lexie found herself chuckling despite herself. Pulling away from him slightly, she offered him a warm smile as she stared into his eyes. "Scoot over."

"Fine," Mark said and did what he was told. "But you and that bump of yours better not be taking up all the space," he joked.

Lexie was just about to lie down when she stopped in her tracks and glared at him. "Did you just call me fat?"

Mark glanced up at her and realized he was now in trouble. "Uhm… No?"

"Jerk," she muttered jokingly and smacked his arm.

"Ow! Stop that and come here." He smiled widely at her as he grabbed her arm and pulled her down towards him.

Lexie laughed loudly and soon rested comfortably with her head tucked under his chin, basically using him as a pillow. "Just because of that comment, I'm withholding sex until this baby is born."

"Sure," he said and nodded as he wrapped his arms securely around her. "Good luck with that, let me know how it goes."

"Jerk," she muttered and snuggled up closer to him.

"Take that back, Grey, or _I'm_ withholding sex until the baby is born."

"You wouldn't," Lexie stated as she closed her eyes.

"You're right. I wouldn't," Mark agreed and kissed the top of her head.

Silence fell between them for a moment. Both enjoying being close to each other and savoring this moment. The brief sound of the busy hallways sent them both some comfort. Lexie focused on Mark's heart beat, and Mark focused on Lexie's breathing and the way her finger was subconsciously making small patterns over his chest.

A minute passed before Mark decided to break the silence.

"Hey, Lex…"

"Yeah?" Lexie asked and continued to make small patterns with her finger.

"We haven't really talked about this," he began and cleared his throat before tightening the grip on his wife. "And there aren't really any official papers, but if it comes down to it… No extraordinary measures, okay? I don't wanna be a vegetable. I don't want you to have to go through that." He knew Derek and Callie had been around all the time when he went into a coma. And he didn't want Lexie to suffer through that and possibly have to pull the plug on him.

"Okay," Lexie whispered. It was painful to hear this, but a part of her was glad that Mark had made up his mind. Because he was right, it would be hard for her to go through that. "Thank you," she added after a moment.

Mark sighed softly and kissed the top of her head. He prayed like crazy that it wouldn't happen. But he was a doctor and he knew about the risks.

A gentle knock on the door pulled the couple out of their thoughts. Mark didn't have time to respond before the door opened, revealing his other best friend and his daughter.

"Hi," Callie said in a cheery tone. "You up for a visitor?" she asked and let Sofia enter the room.

"Of course," Mark replied with a smile. Lexie took the hint and slowly got out of the bed to sit down on the chair beside it. _She_ wasn't up for a visitor, but that wasn't for her to decide.

Callie smiled and glanced down at Sofia, she noticed that the child seemed nervous. Seeing her dad like this was new and scary. "Hey," Callie said and crouched down to the girl's level. "It's okay, Daddy is okay. Go over and say hi," she said with a smile.

"Yeah, it's okay, Sofia," Mark said and sat up in the bed, patting the small space beside him. "Come here."

Sofia hesitated but soon made her way over to her father. With some help from Mark, she was now up in the bed beside him, snuggling up in his arms. Mark wrapped his arms tightly around her.

"How are you feeling?" Callie asked and approached the bed.

"I'm okay," Mark said and smiled at her. He was scared, but getting a visit from his daughter made him calm.

"Maybe I should go," Lexie said softly and got to her feet. She felt a little uncomfortable and figured the little family wanted some time alone.

"No, stay," Mark said in a rushed voice as he looked up at her. "Please, don't go."

Lexie met Mark's eyes and then briefly glanced down to the girl in his arms. Sofia had turned her head and was now staring into Lexie's eyes with a look that seemed to ask her to stay. With a small nod, she took a breath and offered Mark a smile. "Okay."

"Thank you," Mark whispered. A moment passed before he got a grip on Sofia and pulled her away from him. "How's my big girl?" he asked with a smile.

Sofia responded with a toothy grin that might as well have been his own. "I'm good, Daddy."

"Good, I'm glad," Mark said and leaned forward to nudge his nose with hers, causing the child to giggle.

Callie watched the pair for a moment before she turned to Lexie. "How are you feeling?"

"Could've been better," Lexie replied in a hushed tone. "I'm just not ready for this," she added and glanced up at the Latina.

With a sigh, Callie made her way over to Lexie and crouched down beside her. "He's gonna be okay."

"I sure hope so," Lexie said and sighed before moving a lock of hair behind her ear.

Callie offered the younger woman a smile and placed her hand on her knee in a soothing way.

Mark didn't hear the women talking, he was too busy chatting with his daughter and making her laugh. Whenever Sofia was happy, Mark was happy. And Sofia would always bring a smile to his face.

The moment was interrupted when someone, once again, knocked on the doorframe. A moment later, Meredith, Webber and Bailey were walking into the room along with Derek. Mark glanced up and knew what this meant.

It was time.

Bailey sighed and offered all of them a sad smile. "I'm sorry. We have to take you up to surgery now."

Mark nodded. Now he felt a wave of regret through his body. He wanted to spend more time with his family and now he understood what Sofia felt like when he told her to go to bed and she always begged for 5 more minutes. "Yeah, okay," he said and looked back at Sofia. "I'm sorry, Little Goose. Daddy has to go now."

Sofia looked back at her father and her expression changed instantly. "No," she said and shook her head.

"It's okay, Sof. I'll see you later," Mark tried to reassure with a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

"No," Sofia repeated in a whine.

"Sofia, come here," Callie said and jerked into action. "Let's go get some ice cream and we can see Daddy later," she said in a cheery tone as she took Sofia out of Mark's hands.

"No!" Sofia started to cry and did everything she could to get a grip on Mark and stay with him. But Callie was too strong and she had already pulled Sofia away and was now heading for the door.

"Say goodbye, Sofia. We'll come back to visit Daddy and Lexie later," Callie said and tried to comfort the toddler, which of course didn't work.

"Bye, Sofie," Mark said and waved at his daughter before Callie left with a crying Sofia in her arms and closed the door behind him. It broke his heart when Sofia was like this. He knew it was a sign that she really loved him. But it was still painful.

"Hey," Lexie said softly and placed her hand on his shoulder. "It's gonna be okay. You'll see her later."

Mark sighed and ran a hand over his face before nodding. He really hoped she was right. He took a moment to gather himself before he looked up and gave the three surgeons his full attention. It comforted him that Derek was there too.

"We are taking you up to the OR, now," Bailey said and offered him a small smile.

"Okay," Mark said and suddenly felt ready. "Let's go."

"I wanna be in the OR," Lexie said, finally finding her voice.

All eyes turned towards the younger Grey. And none of them were looks of agreement.

"Absolutely not," Bailey said firmly and shook her head. "You know the rules. No family in the OR."

"I know, but I'm also a surgeon," Lexie tried to argue.

"Lexie," Meredith said in a soft tone. "You can't be in the OR, and you know that."

"But-"

"Lex," Mark's soft voice penetrated her ears, causing her to look down at him. "Don't."

"What about the gallery?" Derek asked, glancing between the surgeons. "It's not the OR, and I can be there to keep an eye on her. Make sure she doesn't sneak away down to the OR."

Lexie accepted Derek's idea. It was close enough and she could keep an eye on everything. Glancing towards the three surgeons, she searched for their response.

Bailey, Webber and Meredith looked between each other, all three seemed to be thinking the same thing. They all nodded towards each other before they turned to Lexie and Mark.

"Fine," Bailey said. "The gallery is fine. But you stay there, understand?"

"I understand," Lexie said and felt relieved.

"Okay, let's go," Webber said and walked over to Mark's bed. With the help from Meredith, they started to wheel the bed out.

Lexie stayed close to Mark's bed the whole ride from his room towards the elevator. The short elevator ride was quiet. All doctors in the room were deep in their own thoughts, and none of them were eager to talk.

It didn't take long before they were down on the OR floor and were wheeling Mark's bed down the hallway. Lexie found herself grabbing Mark's hand as she walked beside him. A sigh of relief escaped her when Mark gripped her hand back. Both knew that the end of this hallway was getting closer. And once they reached it, they had to say goodbye.

Lexie felt her heart clench when she spotted the double doors that lead to the scrub rooms. The doors that marked the line between surgeon and family. If you were a surgeon, you could pass the doors, if you were a family, this was your stop.

And soon enough, Mark's bed came to a stop. And Lexie knew what this meant.

"I'm sorry, Lexie," Meredith said in a sad voice. "This is as far as you can come."

Lexie just stared ahead of her, fighting not to give in to her tears. She felt a light tug on her sleeve and turned down to look at Mark.

"Hey," he said with a smile. "It's gonna be okay."

"It better be," Lexie said and turned her body so she was fully turned towards him. She glanced down at their hands and grabbed his other hand before bringing them all together. "Don't die in there," she whispered as she closed her eyes, not caring that tears escaped.

"I won't," Mark said and brought their intertwined hands up to his lips before kissing her knuckles. "Listen to Derek, okay? Stay with him in the gallery." He didn't quite like the idea of having her in the gallery, but if Bailey was okay with it, he wouldn't argue.

"I will," Lexie replied and nodded before opening her eyes and looked into his.

"I love you," he said with a smile.

"I love you, too," Lexie replied and then leaned down to capture Mark's lips with her own.

They both released each others' hands. Mark's hands framed her face as Lexie's reached down to rest on his chest.

They kissed for a moment before air became needed and Lexie pulled back. She moved her hand up to touch his cheek and looked into his eyes. She prayed that his eyes wouldn't close forever.

Mark offered her a warm smile before he let go of her. He knew he would have to do it, otherwise she would hold on forever. They held eye contact as Webber and Bailey started to wheel the bed through the doors. But eventually, they had to break it.

Lexie watched as Bailey and Webber wheeled her husband away towards the OR. A ragged breath escaped her when she felt her sister's hand on her back.

"He's gonna be fine," Meredith said in a soft voice.

Lexie quickly wiped her cheeks and then turned to face her older sister. She glared into Meredith's eyes for a moment before she spoke. "Mer, you know I love you. And I know that you are an excellent surgeon. It's not that I don't trust you but…"

"You don't trust the tumor," Meredith finished for her with a small smile. "I know. And you know I can't promise anything. But I will do everything I can to get the whole thing out," she added and touched Lexie's arm.

Lexie nodded and looked down. She knew Meredith could do this, as long as the tumor did it's part correctly. She took a deep breath before she looked up at Meredith again. "Please don't kill my husband," she whispered.

Meredith looked into her sister's eyes for a moment. "I'll do my best," she whispered and embraced Lexie in a tight hug. "And if you do anything that might disturb this surgery, I'll have Derek kick you out of the gallery. Do you understand?"

"I understand," Lexie replied and breathed in her sister's scent in an attempt to calm herself down.

"I have to go now," Mer said softly before she pulled back. She kept her hands on Lexie's shoulders and offered her a smile. "I'll see you after the surgery."

Lexie nodded and watched her sister turn around towards the OR. She sighed and wiped her cheeks again.

"Come on," Derek said and touched her back. "Let's get up to the gallery."

Lexie nodded and took a breath as she walked with Derek towards the gallery.

Mark's life was officially in Meredith's hands, and all Lexie could do now was pray.


	10. Chapter 10

**Sorry again for the late update. This chapter took a while, mostly because I wanted it as perfect as possible.  
** **Finally the chapter we've been waiting for is here. Like ashmo2000 said in a review "They didn't survive a plane crash for Mark to go out like this". So don't you worry. Enjoy this chapter and make sure to leave a review :)**

* * *

Lexie had been up in the OR gallery so many times she had lost count.

She had always admired the OR gallery, and she was thankful that it was a part of her training to be able to sit in the gallery and just observe a surgery and learn something. Even when she wasn't ordered to observe a surgery, she could come here and watch Dr. Bailey take out a gallbladder for the 4000th time. She always seemed to learn something new every time she sat here. Sometimes, she used this place during her breaks, just to get away and do something else.

But this was the first time her stomach clenched in a very bad way as she entered the gallery with Derek and sat down on one of the chairs. This was the first time she wasn't as eager to take notes and learn something from the procedure in the OR.

Right now, she was focusing on reminding herself to stay calm and keep breathing.

She took a deep breath as she felt Derek sit down on the chair beside her.

"How are you holding up?" Derek asked softly

Lexie took another deep, ragged breath. Maybe coming up here was a bad idea. But she was here now, and she wanted to make sure that Mark got out of this alive. "I'm fine."

"Sure?" Derek asked. He had promised his best friend to look after Lexie, so he decided that if Lexie showed _any_ signs of not wanting to be here, he would take her out. "Just say the word and we'll be out of here."

"I'm fine, Derek. I promise," Lexie assured. She was nervous, but she was gonna handle it.

"Okay,"

Lexie sighed and glanced down towards the OR. Mark was now unconscious and they were preparing everything for Meredith and the other surgeons. Lexie hated to see Mark unconscious. It brought back memories of the plane crash. A part of her wished it was her on the operating table right now. That it was her with cancer who needed surgery. She couldn't live without Mark. The very last thing she wanted was for him to die.

As she kept her eyes on the scene before her, her photographic memory decided to bring back random memories about surgeries in this very OR that was related to Mark. This was the same OR they operated him in after she broke his penis. This was _their_ OR.

A very special memory made her chuckle lightly and actually smiled a little.

"What?" Derek asked as he heard the sound from Lexie, he was keeping a close eye on her.

Lexie took a moment to just savor the feeling before answering Derek. "This is the OR. This is _our_ OR," she said as if it all made sense.

"What do you mean?" Derek asked and smiled slightly.

"This is the OR where it all started," Lexie clarified and smiled.

"You're gonna have to specify," Derek said softly.

Lexie watched as Meredith, Bailey and Webber entered the OR. She had always admired watching her older sister walking into the OR and acting as if she owned the place. Which she sort of did. Lexie took a moment again before answering Derek. "This is the OR where it all started. This is the place where I first fell in love with him. And when I realized that _he_ was in love with me. I was in this gallery with Sadie, watching Mark perform that surgery on mrs. Patterson. It was the first time Sadie implied that Mark had feelings for me. And when I thought about it, I realized it was true. I _had_ noticed how he was checking me out. And after that surgery on mrs. Patterson… Well, that was it." Lexie felt her heart melt at the memory. It seemed so long ago now, even though it was just a few years back. A lot had changed since then.

Derek didn't know what to say. He honestly didn't know the full story of Mark and Lexie. Mark had never really told him. The story Lexie told him made him feel a little guilty that he had asked Mark to stay away from her. But back in those days, no one had realized that Mark and Lexie were meant to be. Derek sighed softly and offered Lexie a small smile. "I didn't know that. Thank you for sharing."

Lexie just slightly nodded and watched what happened down in the OR. The surgeons seemed ready to begin the procedure. They were doing their routine check-ups with the chart and the nurse, and made sure all supplies were in their correct places.

 _"Okay_ ", Meredith's voice sounded from the intercom. " _Like my husband would say, it's a beautiful day to save lives. So let's do this."_

Lexie held her breath as she watched Meredith take the scalpel and make an incision on Mark's stomach. A little blood ran out from the wound, but nothing out of the ordinary. A little blood was normal.

"He's gonna survive this, right?" Lexie asked quietly.

Derek didn't even have to think twice before answering her question. "He's gonna survive this."

Lexie felt comfortable in Derek's presence. She took a breath and leaned back a little in her chair as she kept watching the surgery. In this moment, she was thankful that her sister chose general surgery as her specialty. There was no one else Lexie would trust in this situation, aside from Bailey and Webber of course. But Meredith was a first year attending, that could be beneficial in it's own way. It could always be good to have an attending with fresh eyes, that paid attention to details and wanted to make everything perfect. Lexie felt safe with these three surgeons operating on Mark.

Derek and Lexie stayed silent as they watched the surgery. Lexie tried to take notes in her head and really listen to what Meredith was saying through the intercom, and try to pick up on some knowledge, but it was hard. Occasionally, they glanced up to the small screen in the gallery, to see the surgery more close up. It was really weird seeing Mark's internal organs, but that was a hit Lexie had to take. Anything to make sure he got out of this alive.

A few minutes later, Meredith, Bailey and Webber had gotten deep enough into Mark's abdomen. The moment they had been waiting for was approaching. Lexie tensed a little and glanced up to the small screen. It was like looking the enemy in the eye when she saw the blob shaped thing that was the tumor. She had cursed that thing since day 1, and now she could finally look at it and feel smug about the fact that it was being removed and thrown away.

" _Here we go,_ " Meredith said as she took a breath and glanced up to her colleagues.

Lexie held her breath and frowned as she tried to read the facial expressions of the surgeons in the OR. This was the moment where they were gonna decide what to do. Had the cancer spread? Was it too big to remove? How much damage was it causing the internal organs?

" _It's connected to a few blood vessels, but with a careful approach, we can work around it,_ " Webber replied and searched the women's approval, which he wasn't late to receive.

The surgeons paused for a moment and went through in their heads exactly what to do. After a moment of silence, Dr. Bailey asked for another scalpel and the other two prepared with their respective surgical instruments.

Lexie found a pattern in her head to check the screen, the real surgery in the OR, and the machine monitoring Mark's vitals. And thanks to her photographic memory, she had 100% control of any change in the vitals.

There were a few intense minutes that ticked by. Meredith, Bailey and Webber worked like a dream team, and they hardly had to communicate as they worked. Everyone knew the others' moves and everyone knew the procedure.

Lexie made the mistake of looking down at her hands for 2 seconds. And those 2 seconds were enough to change everything. All of a sudden, Lexie heard Meredith curse through the intercom, at the same time the monitors started beeping. In a millisecond, Lexie's eyes shot up and tried to look at the surgery, the screen, and the monitor all at once.

" _Damn it, damn it, damn it,_ " Meredith muttered as she and the others had to work fast with lap pads and try to control the bleeding.

" _BP is down to 80 over 60,_ " a nurse informed in a shaky voice, knowing exactly the importance of the person on the table.

" _Hang a unit of blood and make sure it doesn't get worse,_ " Webber ordered as he received a clamp from a nurse and helped Bailey localize the source of the bleeding.

" _I'm tracking this thing to the pancreas, I think the tumor ruptured the pancreatic blood vessel. Suction!_ " Bailey barked in a stressed tone.

Lexie now found herself standing up and placing her hand on the glass wall, while the other hand was tight on her belly. She could feel Derek close beside her, but she couldn't bring herself to acknowledge. Her eyes were intensely tracking the numbers on the monitor. At this point, she didn't care about what was happening in his stomach or whether they found the source of the bleeding. All she cared about was that Mark's vitals stayed relatively stable, and that he didn't flat lined.

" _Vitals!_ " Webber barked, desperate to know how his patient was holding up.

" _BP is down to 78, sats are down to 89,_ " the same nurse informed.

The surgeons worked hard and stressfully. They were all desperate to find this bleeding. Lap pads after lap pads were removed and replaced. Lexie remembered how she thought that a little blood was okay. This was a mess.

"Come on, Mark," Lexie whispered as she kept her eyes on the monitor. The vitals were getting worse and she cursed this situation. At this point, she actually regretted watching the surgery. This was the exact reason why family wasn't allowed in the OR. She should've been in a waiting room.

The beeping monitors didn't help the surgeons to calm down, it only made things worse. Meredith quickly glanced up to the gallery, and the look on her sister's and husband's faces could've been enough to kill her. _I'm not letting you die on my watch, Mark_ , she thought to herself and felt a sudden rush of energy. "Come on, Bailey!" she barked and kept working with the lap pads.

"Almost there…" Bailey replied and kept tracking the bleeding. She had to move her hand around a lot, but eventually, she felt a kind of hole that was pumping out blood. "There!" she exclaimed and reached for a clamp. After some working, the bleeding had stopped. All surgeons let out a sigh of relief when the monitors started beeping normally.

"Sats are coming up," the nurse informed.

"Thank God," Meredith breathed and closed her eyes for a moment. She wouldn't have been able to forgive herself if Mark had died on her watch. And she wouldn't have been able to look Lexie in the eye and tell her that her husband died. Thank God she didn't have to do that.

"Okay," Webber said and glanced around the room. "Let's all take a moment to breathe and calm down before we continue. Worst part is over, now we just have to carefully cut all the cords to this tumor and slowly remove it."

All the staff nodded and took a moment to calm down and take a few breaths. Meredith slowly opened her eyes and looked up to the gallery. And the look on Lexie's face made her want to die. "It's okay now, Lexie. We got everything under control, he's still alive."

Lexie was slowly going into some sort of chock. Her eyes were still trained on the monitor, she had to make sure that the vitals were up to normal. She slowly lowered her gaze from the monitor down to Mark's face. He looked so peaceful, like nothing had happened.

"Lexie," Derek said and placed his hand on her back.

"Get me out of here," Lexie whispered. She couldn't stay here anymore. She had to admit that she wasn't strong enough. "I'm serious, Derek. Get me out," she said, raising her voice a bit. Her eyes were glued on Mark, and Derek would literally have to drag her out. She couldn't move.

"Okay, okay," Derek said calmly and gently grabbed her shoulders. He slowly pulled her towards him and she automatically followed. "Come on, let's get you out," he said calmly and managed to get Lexie out of the gallery.

"I shouldn't have been in there," Lexie whispered in horror as her feet guided her down the hallway with Derek. "I shouldn't have been in there."

"No one knew that was gonna happen, Lexie," Derek said and tried to sound comforting. "It was an unpredictable complication. But they fixed it. He's gonna be fine."

Lexie went silent. She was still trying to catch up in her mind what happened. Everything happened so fast. The image of Mark's sinking vitals were gonna be printed in her head forever. She shouldn't have been in there.

She was so deep in her thoughts that she didn't notice when Derek gently pushed her down on a chair. Her eyes were blank and she just stared ahead of her. All she could think about was Mark. She felt Derek's arm wrap around her, but she didn't have the strength to respond. But she was thankful for Derek at this moment.

All she could do now was wait.

—

It was probably just an hour, but it sure felt like a life time before Lexie spotted Meredith approaching them from the hallway. She was still wearing her scrub cap and surgical gown that was turned backwards. Lexie had her eyes steady on her sister, trying to detect anything negative and desperately wanted to read her facial expression. But as an educated doctor, she knew that it was inappropriate to show any expression until you verbally had delivered the news.

As Meredith got close, Lexie quickly stood up and took a few steps forward. A lot of scenarios played out in her head, the worst one being that Mark died on the table.

"How is he?" Lexie asked desperately when Meredith got close enough.

Meredith took a breath and glanced towards her husband for a short moment before returning her gaze to Lexie. "He's fine. We managed to stop the bleeding and remove the whole tumor. He lost some blood, but we're hopeful that he will make a full recovery."

Lexie let out a sigh of relief that felt like she emptied her entire lung volume. She sent a quick thank you to a god she didn't really believe in and placed her hand on her belly. _You're daddy is gonna be fine_ , she thought to herself and hoped that the baby somehow heard her. It felt like she could finally breathe again. "Can I see him?" she asked softly.

"Of course," Meredith replied and nodded.

Lexie didn't bother to respond before her feet were guiding her towards Mark's room, her thoughts racing a million miles an hour. She had never been so scared in her life, not even when she was crushed under a piece of plane. Mark was the love of her life, and she had realized many times that she can't live without him. If he died, she would die.

In mere seconds, she was outside Mark's room. The door was closed and she stopped outside for a moment to prepare herself mentally for what was behind the door. She knew how this worked and what to expect, but it was totally different when it was your husband in the room, and not some random patient. After a moment, she let out a breath and walked in.

The sight of Mark in the bed made her inhale a ragged breath. He was hooked up to wires and was still sedated. His vitals were stable and the monitor was beeping normally. Lexie was thankful that he wasn't intubated anymore. Then he could breathe on his own. After a quick glance to the monitor, she let out another sigh as she remembered the last time she found Mark like this.

.

 _Lexie was extremely grateful when Jackson finally agreed to take her to see Mark. She had just recently started sitting up, but she was still healing and she wasn't 100% recovered from her injuries yet. So technically, she shouldn't have been sitting in this wheel chair. But she hadn't seen Mark since the crash, and she barely got any updates on him, so desperate times called for desperate measures._

 _"Thanks again, Jackson," Lexie said softly and fumbled with her hands. It felt kind of weird that her ex boyfriend was taking her to see her… whatever Mark was to her these days._

 _"Bailey is gonna kill me if she finds out," Jackson muttered. Of course he wanted to help Lexie the best way he could, but he knew that Lexie shouldn't be here right now._

 _"I'll tell her that I escaped and you tried to stop me. You won't get in any trouble for this," Lexie assured. She would literally do anything to see Mark. For a minute, she considered crawling there herself. That would've been plan B if Jackson had denied her this._

 _Silence fell between them. But it was a comfortable silence, so Lexie wasn't worried. And she knew that Jackson had slept with April when they were taking their boards, so it was clear that Jackson had moved on._

 _"So…" Lexie began after a minute. "How's he doing? No-one barely tells me anything." They still had a few hallways until they reached the ICU, so she figured she should prepare herself._

 _"He's still unconscious," Jackson began. He wanted to avoid the word 'coma' since they weren't completely sure if it was a coma. It had been a coma at first, but then he woke up and now he was gone again. "Heart is stable, but they're keeping a close eye. He broke his wrist, but Callie took care of that."_

 _Lexie could only nod. Jackson didn't tell her anything she didn't already know. She had asked about a coma, though. But no one gave her a clear answer. That scared her, but hopefully he just needed some more time before waking up completely._

 _They went silent again as they went through the busy hallways. Lexie started to feel uncomfortable in the wheel chair already and her pelvis started to hurt again. But that was pain she was willing to get through, as long as she could see Mark._

 _"Okay," Jackson said as they reached Mark's room. He quickly glanced around to make sure no one they knew were around to see them. Thankfully, no one was around, so Lexie could have some privacy for a while. "Here we are."_

 _They came to a stop right outside the door, and Lexie started feeling the anxiety creeping up on her again. She had seen patients like this many times, but nothing could prepare her for what she was about to see inside this room. "Okay," Lexie said and swallowed the lump in her throat. "Let's go."_

 _Jackson didn't have to be asked twice. After taking a breath, he leaned forward and opened the door. He made sure to double check the hallways before he wheeled Lexie in and was quick to close the door behind them._

 _Lexie caught her breath in her throat as they entered the room. Mark was looking so peaceful as he laid in the bed. His beard was starting to grow back, and his hair looked more gray than the last time she saw him. She swallowed hard as she looked at all the wires, and she quickly glanced up to check the monitor. All his vitals were stable and everything looked normal._

 _The smallest of smiles formed on her face when she noticed that he wasn't intubated._

 _"At least he's not intubated," Lexie said in a hopeful tone. "That's good, right? It means he's breathing on his own." She quickly glanced up to Jackson for confirmation._

 _"Yeah," Jackson said and nodded slightly. "That's good."_

 _Lexie sighed and looked back at the man in the bed. She would give anything for him to wake up. This just wasn't right. "Can you wheel me a little closer, please?" she asked softly._

 _Jackson didn't respond. He just simply pushed her closer to Mark's bed. Once she was close enough, she didn't hesitate to reach her hand up to touch his. Her fingers gently stroked the skin on his arm, and she made sure not to touch his broken wrist. A lump was forming in her throat as her mind was finally catching up._

 _"I'll leave you two alone for a moment," Jackson said softly and gently patted Lexie on her shoulder._

 _Lexie only nodded and kept her eyes on Mark. Once Jackson had left the room and closed the door, Lexie finally gave in to her tears._

 _"Hey, Mark," she whispered softly and tried to smile. "It's me, it's Lexie. I'm not sure if you can hear me or feel my presence, but if you do… please wake up soon. I just really need you to wake up. I don't even care if you decide to go back to Julia and just completely ignore what we said in the woods, I just need you to wake up and be alive. You have to survive this. If not for me, then for Sofia. She needs you, Mark. Sofia shouldn't have to grow up without a father. So, please, wake up soon."_

 _The tears were streaming down her face and she was worried she'd have an anxiety attack right here. But she was fighting it. She swallowed hard and moved her hand down to touch his fingers with her own. "I love you. I really do. And you said you love me, too. You even promised me two or three kids. So I need you to wake up because I can't have two or three kids on my own." A slight chuckle left her as she thought of something. "I guess I could get on top of you right now and do the work myself. But that is highly illegal so it's probably not a good idea." She managed to smile a little through her tears. "Just wake up soon, okay?_

 _With a heavy sigh, she swallowed hard again and tried her best to wheel herself even closer to him. She groaned in pain and closed her eyes for a moment before she carefully leaned down and rested her head as close to Mark as she could get._

 _She got as comfortable as she could and rested her hand gently on top of Mark's. With a sigh, she kept her eyes on him and silently prayed that he would wake up._

 _"Please, Mark. Come back to us. Don't go into the light. Wake up."_

 _._

An extra beep on the monitor and a groan from Mark pulled her back to reality. With a slight twitch, she took a step forward and shifted her eyes between Mark and the monitor. Nothing were to go wrong now.

It took him a moment, but Mark managed to open his eyes and fully wake up. He swallowed hard and licked his dry lips before glancing around the room. He was back in his private room, and he didn't feel any different. Looks like he made it out alive. With a sigh, he turned a little to his left and noticed Lexie standing by the door. She was like a statue.

"Hey," he said softly, his voice raspy from intubation. He tried to smile a little, but it quickly faded when he noticed the tears in her eyes. "You okay? Are you crying?"

Lexie was just staring at him and didn't even notice that tears were running down her cheeks. She was just so glad to see him awake. With a slight nod, she inhaled a sharp breath. There was no use in lying to him about her tears.

"Lexie," Mark called in a soft tone and slightly reached his hand out. "Come here."

Lexie tried her best to strangle a sob but didn't quite manage. She took a deep breath and then did as she was told. A few steps later, she was close enough to his bed and she wasn't late to take the out stretched hand he offered her. Mark slightly scooted over on the bed to give her space. She inhaled a ragged breath as she sat down on the bed. Another sob escaped and she looked down at their intertwined hands.

"Just breathe, honey," Mark whispered softly and found it ironic how he was comforting her at this point. He was the patient, shouldn't it be the opposite? He didn't mind of course.

"You- you we-were bleed-ding so much," Lexie stuttered out and closed her eyes. The image of Mark almost bleeding out on that table would be printed in her head forever.

"Shhh…" he whispered and stroked her hand with his thumb. With some effort, he managed to move a little in the bed and make more room for her. "Lie down with me and calm down, then you can tell me how the surgery went."

Lexie shook her head. She wanted nothing more than to lie wrapped up in his arms, but Bailey would kill her if she did.

"It wasn't a question," Mark said in a tired voice. He was exhausted and felt light headed. But he wanted Lexie with him. "Come on," he said and slightly pulled her towards him. Thankfully she obeyed this time and carefully avoided all the wires and lied down beside him.

Lexie kept trying to shove back the sobs that threatened to escape. But they came out as a strangled noise instead. The tears wouldn't stop falling from her eyes. Carefully, she rested her hand on his chest, she was desperate to feel his heart beat under her palm. And once she found that wonderful pulsating feeling, she finally felt some relaxation.

Mark was alive. He survived the surgery with only some minor complications. Now the hard part was over.

"Breathe, Lex," Mark whispered and stroked her arm with his thumb. "We don't wanna cause any stress on the baby." For the first time, Mark could think about the baby and not feel anxiety. He was alive. He would be there when his baby is born. This baby would have a father.

It was difficult, but with some effort, Lexie managed to regulate her breathing. She closed her eyes and focused on the steady heartbeat under her palm, and silently counted the beeps from the monitor.

"I love you," she whispered and finally relaxed.

Mark smiled slightly and felt his eyelids get heavier and heavier. He knew he was drifting off to sleep, but that didn't stop him from responding to her words.

"I love you, too."


	11. Chapter 11

**I am alive! I am so so so so sorry for this huge delay. A lot has been going on in my life lately and I recently started a new course in school. But I am invested in both my stories and I would never leave them. However, I'm not sure how frequent the updates are gonna be. But I'll do my best :)  
** **I hope you like this chapter. Even though it took time, it was fun to write this! I love emotional Slexie and slightly angsty Slexie.  
** **Make sure you leave a review :)**

* * *

One night when Mark and Lexie had first started dating, Lexie woke up in the middle of the night in Mark's hotel room bed, only to find his side empty. She had no idea why she'd woken up, she always slept like a baby and people complained about her being hard to wake up. But after a moment of thinking, she'd come to realize that she woke up because she could feel Mark's absence. She had fallen asleep with him tight to her body, and now when he wasn't there anymore, she sensed it and it woke her up. She had found a note on the nightstand from Mark explaining that he got paged 911 and had to go in to the hospital.

She didn't go back to sleep that night. It was just too hard to sleep without Mark there next to her. And that had stuck with her ever since.

So she wasn't surprised when she woke up now, quickly checking the time to see it was almost 3.30 in the morning, and Mark wasn't in their bed with her. What bothered her, though, was the sound of Mark throwing up in the bathroom. She could hear him trying to strangle the sound in order not to disturb her. A part of her was thankful, but another part didn't like being left out. With a small sigh, she removed the covers off of her and slowly got out of the bed. The sound of Mark throwing up sent a chill down her spine and made her stomach clench in the worst way. The slight amount of chemo and radiation had clearly been enough to make him throw up. She wasn't surprised of course, but she'd hoped it wouldn't go so far. Seeing Mark being ill in any way made her want to die. It just wasn't fair.

Lexie gathered herself and took a breath before gently knocking and then opening the unlocked door. And the sight in front of her was not welcomed, yet expected.

Mark looked exhausted leaning against the toilet, he was breathing heavily and looked extremely pale. He heard the door open and he could sense her presence. And even though he didn't want her to see him like this, he was thankful for her support.

"Hey," Lexie said softly and made her way over, kneeling down beside him and immediately started stroking his back in a soothing way.

"Hi," Mark replied tiredly. It was like just saying hi was exhausting enough. He rested his head against the toilet and just locked eyes with Lexie. Focusing on a specific point usually kept the nausea together.

"This might be a stupid question, but how are you?"

"I'm doing great," Mark replied jokingly and managed a small smile. "You look like hell," he added with a wink.

"Thanks." Lexie smiled slightly at his jokes. She was thankful that they could be joking a little about all this. It lightened the mood a lot. But they of course knew where to draw the line. The smile dropped from her face and she turned serious again. With a sigh, she moved her hand to touch Mark's face. She gently stroked his skin with her finger and said, "I still think we should've stayed at the hospital just for a few more days."

"They can't do anything, Lex," Mark reminded her and sighed. "I would be like this no matter where we are. The medicine is working, is all." He paused for a moment, closing his eyes briefly when another rush of nausea hit him like a wave. "Besides, I'd rather be home with you than in that hospital bed."

Mark was right. But since the surgery, Lexie constantly feared that something would happen to him. She was a doctor and knew it was a low risk, but what if he started bleeding out at home? He could be passed out close to death on the bathroom floor and Lexie would be asleep. In a hospital bed with monitors and round the clock nurses and doctors, no one would miss it if Mark suddenly got worse. Outside of the hospital, anything could happen and no one would know.

Hell, they'd experienced that before.

"How long have you been in here?" she asked instead, admitting herself defeated already.

"I don't know," Mark replied, swallowing hard and opening his eyes, focusing on Lexie again in order to control the nausea.

"The nausea pills didn't work, huh?" Lexie kept stroking his cheek and hair, attempting to comfort her husband.

"No, but that was expected."

Lexie sighed in frustration. She hated seeing Mark like this. And Bailey had promised that the pills he got would ease the nausea. Apparently not as much as expected because Mark was still sick.

"Lex, I'll be fine. It's just a side effect of the medicine," Mark said, hoping it would comfort her thoughts.

"I know." It still didn't make Lexie feel better, though.

"Know what this reminds me of?" Mark asked, managing a small smile and slowly feeling the nausea go away.

"What?"

"Our honeymoon."

For the first time that night, Lexie actually smiled for real. How could she ever forget the first sign of being pregnant? The actual first sign should've been that she had missed her period two months in a row. But those things were hard to keep track of when you had to plan a wedding.

.

 _Mark had always been a light sleeper. He always woke up before the alarm and the slightest movement from Lexie could wake him up. No difference this time when he woke up to the sound of Lexie vomiting in the bathroom. Sitting up in the bed, he quickly checked the alarm clock only to find out it was a little after 2am. A sigh left him as he removed the blankets and got up. She had complained last night that she felt nauseous, but he really hoped it wouldn't turn out to be the stomach flu. He would sue this hotel if it was because of something she ate._

 _"Lex?" he asked softly as he reached the bathroom. When she didn't respond, he gently knocked on the door. "Lexie, are you okay?"_

 _"Does it sound like I'm okay?" Lexie asked angrily from inside the bathroom. They were in Los Angeles on their honeymoon, she wasn't supposed to be sick._

 _"Fine, stupid question. Sorry." Mark had noticed that she had been grumpy and easily annoyed lately, but he figured it was just stress from planning the wedding. With a sigh, he ran his finger against the wooden door, craving to be close to her. "Want me to come in?" he asked softly, careful not to say anything that would set her off._

 _"If you want to."_

 _He didn't need any more confirmation. Ever since the plane crash, and even before that if he was honest, he would always make sure that Lexie was okay, and that he was by her side if she were to not be okay. Now he always took great caution to her well being, and he kept a close eye on anything that wasn't normal with her. With a deep breath, he opened the door to the adjoining bathroom of their hotel room and slowly made his way over to where his new wife was leaning against the toilet._

 _"Hey," he greeted in a soft tone and offered her a small smile as he kneeled down to her level._

 _"Hi," she replied weakly, swallowing before turning to look at him._

 _"You look like hell," Mark joked and moved his hand to stroke her hair._

 _"Really? 'Cause I feel like crap," Lexie replied, picking up on the joke._

 _Mark laughed lightly and smiled as he kept stroking her hair, just like she wanted when she was hurt or sick. "So this is where we ended up anyway, huh?" he asked, referring to her being sick. "What happened to mind over matter?"_

 _Lexie sighed. She had really hoped it would just be nausea. "Guess that doesn't work on me."_

 _"Was it something you ate?" he asked with a concerned look, trying to remember if she ate anything different from him last night._

 _"I don't know," Lexie replied tiredly, closing her eyes and just enjoying Mark's fingers running through her hair._

 _"I guess it doesn't matter that much anyway," Mark said and kept stroking her hair._

 _"I guess not," Lexie replied. At this point, she didn't care what was causing her to throw up. She just wanted it to stop._

 _"I hope you'll feel better soon. It's not a very fun trip if you're going to be sick. Seeing the dolphins by myself last Tuesday when you were back here feeling sick was so boring," he said with a chuckle._

 _Mark's last remark got Lexie thinking. She had been nauseous last Tuesday as well. And this wasn't the first time this trip she'd felt nauseous, but it was the first time throwing up. And she had basically been eating the exact same food as Mark on this trip, why wasn't he sick? Now when she thought about it, she realized she had felt slightly nauseous even before the wedding. And she had been nauseous back and forth this whole week._

 _And when was the last time she had her period?_

 _Lexie slowly opened her eyes and immediately found Mark's ocean blue orbs. She was still nauseous, but now she realized it might be because of a whole other reason than food poisoning._

 _._

"I had been so stressed out because of the wedding. It was that night I realized I had missed my period like two months in a row," Lexie explained with a warm smile on her face, feeling silly that she had missed the first obvious signs of pregnancy.

"Is that right?" Mark asked tiredly and managed a small smile.

"Yeah," Lexie confirmed and started running her fingers through Mark's thick, salt & pepper hair. "We're having a baby, Mark. Can you believe it?"

"I'm still getting used to the idea," Mark replied with the smallest of chuckles as he closed his eyes. Since he survived the surgery, he now started thinking more happy thoughts about the baby that was on it's way to join them in the world. Now he could start imagining himself and the child playing catch, or teaching it to ride a bike. He missed the classic baby smell and how it felt to just hold a baby in his arms. In a matter of months, all those feelings would be back. They were having a baby.

"I'm glad you're still with us," Lexie said quietly and looked down for a moment. She couldn't help it when her mind guided her towards the dark memories of Mark almost dying on that operating table. "I wouldn't be able to do this without you. I… I really can't live without you." Swallowing the lump in her throat, she glanced up and came face to face with Mark's ocean blue eyes.

"You won't have to," Mark reminded her softly. He understood her worries and fears and what she was feeling right now. He'd been there himself a million times already. The memories of the plane crash were gonna stick with them forever. The mental wounds of those horrible days would probably never heal completely. They would always worry when the other was 10 minutes late or didn't pick up the phone. That's what a trauma does to a person. "I'm here, Lex. I'm not going anywhere."

"Good. Because if you do, I'll kill you," Lexie replied and blinked back the forming tears.

"Noted," Mark said and offered her a small smile.

The moment was short lived when Mark suddenly winced and made a choking sound before turning his head down to the toilet again. The sudden rush of nausea almost knocked him out.

Lexie noticed the sudden change and felt a small rush of panic as she watched her husband. After a quick calculation, she made up her mind. "Hang on, I'm getting you that nausea pill," she said and prepared to get to her feet. But Mark's quick and desperate hand stopped her in the process.

"No… Stay… It'll pass," Mark choked out and grabbed her arm more tightly in order to get her to stay by his side. He wasn't throwing up yet but he didn't want to be alone when it happened.

Lexie obeyed immediately and went back to her former place on the floor and placed her hand on his back, making small, circular patterns just to sooth him the best she could. He had stayed like this with her, now it was her turn to return the favor.

—

"Mark…" Lexie called her husband's name softly as they laid in the bed. It had been a while since they left the bathroom together, but it was so early in the morning now so it would probably be no use in going back to sleep. Neither of them had work in the morning since Lexie was staying home to take care of Mark, so it wasn't a problem. Then again, staying awake all night wasn't the wisest option. Work or not, they both needed sleep. But just like always, thoughts kept them both awake.

"Yeah, Lex?" Mark asked softly, slightly turning his head to look at his loving wife. He thought he would never get used to seeing her, for real, beside him in his bed every night. The whole thought of being married to Lexie, to being able to call her 'his', to actually _being_ with her, was still so surreal and still felt like a dream. Although if this was a dream, he sure as hell never wanted to wake up to whatever reality actually waited for him.

"You sleeping?" Lexie whispered, as if she still wasn't sure wether he was awake or not. Like she was talking to a baby that she didn't quite want to wake up.

"No." His reply came out as a sigh. It felt like he never slept nowadays. If he wasn't up getting sick because of the meds, he was awake just thinking about stuff.

"Are you still nauseous?" Lexie _hated_ to see that reaction because of the meds. She just hated seeing Mark being anything but well.

"Not as much as earlier," Mark replied softly. He knew how Lexie felt about all of this, and he tried to be as gentle about it as possible. He'd decided a long time ago to be honest. So if he said he wasn't that nauseous, it was the truth. He sighed slightly and stared into Lexie's soft, brown eyes. The small bags under her eyes declared that she hadn't been sleeping well these past few nights, something that bothered him endlessly. "Can't sleep?"

Lexie just shook her head. She'd wondered many nights when she would catch a break from her thoughts. If it wasn't about Mark, it was about the baby. If it was neither, it was memories. Horrible memories of those horrible days out in the woods. Or the recent memories of how Mark almost died on that table.

"What are you thinking about?" He knew. He would always know what kept her up at night. Her expression never failed to tell him exactly what she was feeling. Over the years, he'd learned how to read the Lexie Grey-book. She was a very open person in general, but he had an exclusive copy of the version that was much more deep. Mark's relationship with Lexie had given the expression 'read someone like an open book' a face.

Lexie swallowed the lump in her throat and licked her dry lips before lowering her gaze to the tight space between them. No matter how tight the space were, it would always be too wide. Their hands were merely inches apart, but it was still too far apart. She briefly wondered if that feeling would ever go away. "You," she replied in a low tone of voice. "Us."

"What about us?" Mark asked as he turned his body so he was laying on his side, resting his hand right beside Lexie to assure her that he was still there. He'd learned that if he touched her too early in these moments, she would mentally backtrack and find comfort in the physical contact he offered her, and thus just avoid actually talking about what was on her mind.

"Nothing really," Lexie replied in a whisper. Mark's hand right by her side was still too far away, but she knew what he was doing. _Talk, then touch._ "It's just… So much has happened to us. And I'm worried about the future. Nothing is guaranteed. Life isn't guaranteed." Lexie wasn't even 30 and she was already worrying about everything the future may or may not have to offer. What if her child dies? What if something happens to her or Mark? Will they ever be able to fly in a plane again? Which one of them will die first? And how? And when?

Mark sighed. As much as he wanted to be included in Lexie's thoughts, he hated it. And he would be lying if he said he didn't worry too. Anything could happen. Ferryboats can crash, a man can shoot down half the hospital, a bus can run you down, a car crash can almost kill you. Lexie was right, life isn't guaranteed. "Lexie, I'm right here," Mark began in a soft tone, the urge to touch her was growing bigger and bigger. "I know there was a complication during the surgery. But everything turned out fine. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere."

"I just can't stop thinking about it," Lexie whispered, tears were welling up fast and she just wasn't ready to cry about it. "Every time I close my eyes, all I see is you bleeding on that table and the numbers on the monitor sinking."

Screw the no touching before talking policy. Lexie was sincerely sad and worried, and she needed his comfort. They both needed each other's comfort. Without hesitating, Mark moved his hand closer to his wife and quickly found her smaller one. The smallest whimper escaped Lexie when his hand gently grabbed hers. Since the plane crash, hand holding had been their go to comfort method.

Lexie swallowed the lump in her throat and tried to blink back the tears before looking up at Mark, their eyes meeting immediately. The ocean blue eyes that belonged to the most beautiful man on the planet. And they wouldn't close forever, not for a long time at least. She knew the genes for brown eyes were dominant, but she hoped every day that their baby would have Mark's blue eyes.

"I'm right here," Mark repeated and offered Lexie a small smile as he rubbed her knuckles with his thumb.

"You're right here," Lexie said and nodded, keeping her eyes locked with his for as long as she could. The fear of losing him would still linger within her, so it was something she would have to work on. And she assumed the pregnancy hormones added their fair share of worry.

Mark knew that being close to Lexie, holding her hand and saying soothing things actually helped. But he also knew that nothing would ever be as good as real physical contact. With that in mind, he fought the still on-going nausea and scooted closer to his wife. He gently moved their joined hands to rest on her belly as he leaned down to give her a soft peck on the lips. It was barely a kiss, but he knew it would be enough. Kissing wasn't everything. He stayed close to her like that for a moment before slightly pulling back to look into her eyes. No words were needed at this point. Communicating by eye contact always worked.

Lexie kept her eyes locked with his as she gently untangled her hand from his and instead moved his hand to fully rest on her belly, her hand resting atop his. The hard part was officially over. Mark's surgery was done, so now they could start focusing 100% on the life that was growing inside her. Just like it should be. "Will you talk to the baby?"

Mark Sloan didn't have to be asked twice. Talking to his unborn child was something he would never get tired of. With a slight nod, he gave Lexie another quick kiss before slowly moving down the bed until he was face to face with her baby bump. With his elbows supporting his weight, he placed his palms on Lexie's belly, his thumbs making small circles as he leaned forward. He felt warmth shoot through his body when Lexie started stroking his hair and gently run her fingers through it. Mark started off by gently kissing the small bump, hoping that the baby's head was in that exact spot.

"Hey, Little Peanut," he began in a low voice, not quite sure what to say. "It's Daddy. I know it's like the middle of the night so I hope Mommy and I aren't waking you up or anything." He swallowed slightly and sighed before making a small smile. "Hard part's over. Told you I was gonna beat that thing. So now I just need to make your mommy stops worrying so we can focus our energy on you." Mark paused for a second to glance up to Lexie. Tears were still filling her eyes, but she offered him a small smile and kept stroking his hair. "I'm sorry your mother is feeling so bad right now," he continued and returned his eyes to the spot were his thumbs were making circles. "I hope it doesn't affect you too much. But she's been taking such good care of me these last weeks, so now it's my turn to make sure she stays happy for the next 7 months. I'll make sure she gets enough sleep, eats properly and drink plenty of water. And I can make promises now because I'm definitely not going anywhere. I'm here to stay, whether you like it or not." He paused again and sighed before kissing the bump once again, this time making it longer.

He closed his eyes and rested his forehead against the belly. "I love you. I love both you and your mommy so much. And I promise you that I won't go anywhere. I'll be here when you arrive and then you'll be stuck with me for the rest of your life. So for the time being, maybe you can remind Mommy of these things, and I'll do what I can to make sure she stays happy." Mark could hear the smallest of chuckles coming from Lexie, which brought a smile to his face. He would have to add 'talking to the baby' to the list of things that soothed Lexie Grey-Sloan. "Love you, Peanut. Now go back to sleep, I'll make sure your mom gets some rest as well." With that, he finished off with another loving kiss on the small bump before slowly making his way back up to Lexie. As soon as he settled beside her, Lexie wrapped herself in his arms and gripped his shirt. "Feel better?" Mark asked as his hand made small patterns on Lexie's back, while the other one was stroking her hair.

"Yeah," Lexie whispered and buried her face against Mark's chest. She made sure to push herself as close to him as possible, allowing her belly to touch his. That way they were all connected to each other. "I love you."

"I love you, too, Lex," Mark replied and rested his head on top of hers as he focused on her breathing. "Let's get some sleep. No alarms are on so we can sleep until we wake up." He felt Lexie nod against his chest. With a sigh, he planted one last kiss onto the top of Lexie's head before closing his eyes.

With Lexie this calm, he knew that stroking her hair would be enough for her to fall asleep. And the sound of Lexie's breathing and just the feel of her in his arms was enough for Mark Sloan to succumb to sleep.


	12. AUTHOR'S NOTE

**Hello my dear readers.**

 **I apologize for the huge delay on this story. There are a lot of different reasons, but despite that, I do** **not** **intend to abandon it completely.**

 **However, I feel like I rather focus on getting my other story finished. There are not that many chapters left of Bless the rains in Africa so I think I'm gonna focus on finishing that one, and then I can return to focusing 100% (50%, I have ideas for a new story!) on this one.**

 **So in the mean time, feel free to send me suggestions on what you want to happen in this story. A certain flashback, pregnancy thing, Sofia dates, etc. I'm open to suggestions :)**  
 **And also, don't forget to read Bless the rains! I'm really proud of that story and I am excited about the chapters to come. So many twists and turns are promised!**

 **Thank you for following and reviewing. And thank you for your patience!**

 **/ Angelica**


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